Samantha's Chronicles: No pain no gain.
'Arrrrrggggghhhhh,' I scream again, this time out loud. Crap. I couldn't keep that muffled. That was a horrible one. I'm shaking. Deep breaths. That's better. Sorry, what was I saying before?
Oh yes, willpower. I explained how a day that started and continued with you depleting your willpower reserves will most likely end with you giving in to some sort of temptation or the other. If, for example, contrary to what I had said earlier, you woke up energised and ready to face the day. If you had happily gone for your jog and had coffee at home, thereby forgoing resisting temptation in the coffee shop, where all sorts of delicacies are laid out. If you had found little or no traffic on the way to work so you were not tempted to overlap. If it wasn't anyone's birthday so there was no tempting cake to say no to. If lunch was at a salad bar with a like-minded health conscious friend and not in the office cafeteria, where they lay out all the fattening, delicious-looking food in the buffet.
If that was how your day played out and by evening someone offered you a drink, you'd easily say no. The reason is that this is the first time, throughout the day, that your willpower has come into play. On the way home, they'll be lots of traffic but you will not even be tempted to overlap. Again, your reserves are still high. You may drive past a fast food joint and not give it a second glance. You use the same stock of willpower for everything you do. Being nice to someone you can't stand. Playing hard to get when you really like someone. Exercising when you don't want to. So if your day didn't require you to dive into the willpower stockpile, you can accomplish ANYTHING.
This, in a nutshell, was me today. I didn't have an occasion to deny myself anything. My blackmailing day was a roaring success! Granted, there was a little stress when the prude called me out and sent his wife to confront me. Stress is very dangerous; it depletes willpower. That's why people are more likely to drink themselves into a stupor, when they have money or relationship problems. But I didn't let the stress sit with me for long. I found a quick solution and turned this thing on its head. I convinced the prude's wife to pay me the money in return for an abortion that very day. Which of course is why I'm in so much pain right now. I lied to the doctor how far along I was. Either way, I have all the willpower reserves I need to see me through tonight. I'm going to use every morsel of it. No caving in. No hospitals. I'll handle the pain and see it through. The prude's wife paid up. I have the money in my account. What's a night of pain compared to the two million I got because of it?
'Arrrrrggggghhhhh!!!!!!' I scream.
I can tell you one thing. After tonight, I'm going on a shopping spree and a holiday to somewhere gorgeous. No way in hell I'm denying myself anything, for a very long time, after this much pain.