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SOAPwatch; YOUR TV.

Byline: NAOMI McELROY

CORONATION STREET TV3 - Tomorrow 7.30pm & 8.30pm, Thursday 8.30pm, Friday 7.30pm & 8.30pm I THOUGHT my opinion of Joe really couldn't go any lower. But this week he attempts to steal an idea for a major crime from a man who, in real life, got caught.

That's right, Joe confesses to Gail that he wants to fake his own death and disappear for seven years so she can cash in his life insurance policy, much like Canoe Man. And when Gail tries to point out that it's stupid and, more importantly, hardly likely to work, Joe vanishes.

Meanwhile Leanne schemes with Ken to get Peter into rehab - again - and Sunita and Dev play happy families for Sunita's aunt. I think we all know where that storyline is going... EASTENDERS RTE One - Tomorrow 8pm, Tues & Thurs 7.30pm, Fri 8pm BRADLEY'S not happy to be back in the Square, and is even less happy when he sees curly-haired copper DSI Marsden's car. Relax, Bradders, she's a rubbish copper.

Marsden's idea of detective work is hanging around at Archie's funeral, ghoulishly rubbing her hands and telling Sergeant Gormless Extra: "Let's see which one of them cracks first." Later Brad 'n' Stace overhear Bianca saying the police have a new witness, and are about to arrest someone - but who? Elsewhere, Whitney tries to dump Todd, and Minty tells Manda he still has feelings for Sam. Boo, hiss.

FAIR CITY RTE One - Today, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday 8pm EVERYONE'S favourite warring couple are back in the spotlight as Paul tells an unimpressed Niamh he's made an appointment for counseling.

Since Paul spent the only five minutes he was away from her since they were married knocking up the worst person in Carrigstown, I'm not surprised. He's lucky she doesn't just give him the finger, while roaring: "Counsel this."

CAPTION(S):

Defective Inspector... it's Jane Marsden
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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:Sunday Mirror (London, England)
Date:Feb 7, 2010
Words:316
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