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SOAPwatch; YOUR TV.

Byline: NAOMI McELROY

CORONATION STREET TV3 - Tomorrow 7.30pm & 8.30pm, Thu 8.30pm, Fri 7.30pm & 8.30pm OK hang on - this gets complicated. Tine is paranoid that her dad's wedding to her ex-boyfriend's mum will mean Sarah, her ex-boyfriend's mum's daughter will come back to the Street - and she just happens to be her boyfriend's not-actually-ex-after-all-wife. Confused? Give up now, it gets worse...

So she gets drunk, hops in a van, runs over David (the ex-boyfriend), sadly not killing him, and ends up in a bar, smooching Nick - her ex-boyfriend's brother, soon to be her step-brother. Whew.

EASTENDERS RTE One - Tomorrow 8pm, Tue & Thu 7.30pm, Fri 8pm NOW, it wouldn't be EastEnders unless something really awful happened at Christmas. Remember how the scriptwriters used to insist Little Mo was raped every Christmas Day? Good times.

Except, as you can hopefully tell, I'm being sarcastic, and they weren't. This year the EastEnders team have finally realised no one wants a sidehelping of misery with their turkey, and decided to bump off a thoroughly rotten character no-one gives a stuff about - Archie Mitchell.

Yes Archie, the man so vile he actually made Janine seem sympathetic, is bumped off. The cops' biggest problem will be sorting out who didn't do it.

FAIR CITY RTE One - Today, Tue, Wed, Thu 8pm YVONNE wants to give her baby up for adoption to Paul and Niamh, what with him being the secret baby-daddy and all.

Connie wants to keep the baby, sensibly enough as I don't see either her or Yvonne making any sperm, making this a golden chance to have a child without having to involve donors and turkey-basters.

Yvonne keeps insisting the baby isn't Louie's, confusing Louie and Connie, who should be a bit more concerned about who her girlfriend is sleeping with.

CAPTION(S):

Baby talk... Yvonne isn't all that fluent
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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:Sunday Mirror (London, England)
Date:Dec 20, 2009
Words:311
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