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Byline: Dear Coleen Dear

Dear Coleen WHEN I first met my wife, sex was fine and regular enough, although she's always had a low sex drive and it was always initiated by me. Then came the kids and sex became less frequent, unless of course she wanted to get pregnant. This was followed by the change and now sex is almost non-existent.

When it does happen, it's basically just to satisfy my urges, a kind of "hurry up and get it over with" scenario. There is no intimacy at all. Why do I need to accept my sex life is over just because my wife doesn't fancy it any more? Coleen says IF YOU haven't sat down and had a conversation about it, then you have to do that first. I know it's not an easy thing to do, but you have to be honest that you can't imagine the rest of your life without sexual intimacy and that you'd like it to be with her.

It sounds as if she's never had a ferocious sex drive but, having said that, menopause can alter things quite dramatically as a woman's body goes through lots of physical changes. This can make sex less comfortable and therefore less enjoyable, her libido can be affected, plus there's the emotional impact, too.

Read up on it to gain more understanding and you'll also realise that these problems can be treated and overcome if your wife wants a more satisfying sex life.

Maybe don't put the pressure just on sex - try to build intimacy outside the bedroom and make her feel special. Sometimes it's not about actual sex drive, it's about how you see yourself, and she probably doesn't feel sexy or desired.

She might just not be interested in sex any more and, if that's the case, you both have some decisions to make about how you see the future.

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Publication:Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland)
Date:Jun 30, 2016
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