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SAD STEVE A MAN IN TORMENT.

1. Is there any trainspotter who's got all the numbers?

2. What's the difference between a refuse sack and a bin liner?

3. Do people really drop after a shopping spree?

4. At what stage does the weather become "close"?

5. Do penguins think they're named after chocolate biscuits?

6. If tomorrow never comes, what's the point of diaries?

7. Why is blue associated with boys and pink with girls?

8. Are you dressed to kill if you wear an Army uniform?

9. Has anyone ever seen a go-faster stripe on a hearse?

10. Can a woman be a ginger bombshell?

11. Why don't feminists open doors for men?

12. If Kuala Lumpur is known as K.L., what's King's Lynn shortened to?

13. Would a frightened sprinter still run a mile?

14. Can you stand your corner in a circular bar?

15. Do sacked lumberjacks get axed?

16. How come we get spring tides in autumn?

17. How can a pickle possibly be pretty?

18. Do fiction writers drink unreal ale?

19. Surely worms know by now that if they get up early, the birds will get them?

20. What's rhyming slang for Cockney?

READERS WRITE: The jackpot goes to Neville Wood, of Swansea, this week, who asks: "When the Ancient Egyptians used hieroglyphics, did they realise the writing was on the wall?"

Sad Steve says: Now that's worth 25 quid of anybody's money (particularly the company's), Neville, because it reminds us of the greatest imponderable of all time: How come we can get a man on the Moon, yet we still haven't a clue how they managed to build the Pyramids?

Pick of the rest:

Do crabs think we walk funny? Paul Sullivan, Colchester, Essex

How come cows still get fat although they eat nothing but grass all day? Charlotte Macauley, Newtownards, Co Down, N Ireland

Do jetty builders worry about pier pressure?

Dave Thomas, Warrington, Cheshire

Why does no-one under 45 wear glasses in East-Enders? Keith Sayer, Hull

Did Dear Henry ever fix that hole in his bucket?

Claire Gunn, East Calder, W Lothian

Why are rugby balls so called when they're aren't ball-shaped?

Andrew Bowers, Tunbridge Wells, Kent

PUT HIM OUT OF HIS MISERYIf you have the answer to any of these questions, or better still have any of your own, write to

Sad Steve, Sunday People Magazine, 1 Canada Square, London E14 5AP.

Or e-mail to: s.riches@people.co.uk

The sender of the letter of the week receives pounds 25.
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Title Annotation:Features
Author:Riches, Steve
Publication:The People (London, England)
Date:Oct 29, 2000
Words:417
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