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RECORD; Sew.. we meet again.

HIV isn't the death sentence that it once was and those fags that Val is chain-smoking to get through her ordeal are more likely to finish her off. But try telling her that.

Tonight, this startling storyline sees Val do what she should have done weeks ago and go and get tested. At least now she has Eric by her side and he's also being tested. And their relationship faces its toughest test, too.

EASTENDERS BBC1, 7.30pm "YOU'VE risked everyfink!" Stacey barks at Kat tonight. It's great to have her back but even the most ardent Stacey fan will be wondering why she didn't just shout at Kat down the phone, instead of scampering around Albert Square without so much as a hat or dark glasses to avoid being recognised. It's all very confusing, viewers.

RIVER CITY BBC1, 8pm MARK is back in Shieldinch after a successful stint in rehab but it may be a fleeting visit.

Stella is thrilled to see her brother again but disappointed when he says he's only back to say goodbye before starting a job up north. Stella urges Mark to see Stevie, insisting they've all moved on since the miscarriage. However, Stevie isn't as willing to forgive and forget.

Elsewhere, hearing Dan plans to leave, Tatiana reveals her true feelings, leading to a passionate tryst between the pair.

SOAP UPDATE EMMERDALE STV, 7pm DOLL & EM Sky Living, 10pm SITCOM IF you enjoyed Episodes and Entourage, give this semiimprovised comedy set in Hollywood a whirl.

Real-life best friends Emily Mortimer (The Newsroom) and Dolly Wells (Sky One's Spy) play heightened versions of themselves, with Doll getting over a failed relationship by moving to Hollywood and becoming a personal assistant to actress Emily.

It's a job in name only, insists Em - they're just friends hanging out, having fun. That sentiment, of course, doesn't last long and 10pm we follow the highs and lows of their friendship as they adapt to their new roles of boss/employee.

Although labelled a comedy, there aren't many laughs but that doesn't really matter.

There's something rather charming and compelling about the show and it should be worth sticking with, if only to see the amazing guest stars they've got lined up. Later episodes see the likes of Susan Sarandon, Andy Garcia, Chloe Sevigny and John Cusack, while Dolly's real-life husband, Mischa Richter, plays Emily's husband on-screen.

DRAMA AS Harry's very first gastric band patient from last week returns to Holby with love in her eyes for her yummy doctor and undigested food in her gullet, he may have to rethink his new speciality.

We'd suggest Lying To Consultants, which he definitely seems to have a natural flair for.

This would also fill the vacancy for that particular role vacated by Oliver Valentine, the last doctor who hoped to complete his training on the strength of his nice eyes and pretty HOLBY CITY BBC1, 10.35pm face alone. Meanwhile, on Darwin, Colette is paying a visit to check up on her nurses and Jonny seizes his chance to show her how Jac is treating the nursing staff appallingly (actually, it's mostly just Jonny).

But wouldn't you know it, this is the precise week that Jac has been abducted by aliens and replaced by a polite, considerate replica who treats all nurses with the utmost reverence and respect.

While Colette is in earshot anyway. The Colette-Jac mind games are so frosty they could be an event in the Winter Olympics.

THE GREAT BRITISH SEWING BEE BBC2, 8pm WITH flooding very much on our minds at the moment, a contest to find "Britain's Best Home Sewer" might conjure up some very alarming images. I shudder to think what the trophy would look like. But it's OK. It's just Claudia Winkleman, back in a brand new sewing room in London's east end with 10 more keen amateur dressmakers.

This is very much the poor relation to Bake Off, so perhaps Claudia should think about combining two of her hit shows and getting this lot to knock up some costumes for Strictly. At least if they all go wrong they could wear them for the Halloween episode.

The contestants this year seem to have been selected as much for their colourful backgrounds as OF DAY their sewing skills and include a serving policeman and a retired Buddhist prison chaplain, while another woman is using traditional Nigerian tailoring skills, which means ditching paper patterns and just transferring measurements straight to the fabric.

Under the gaze of judges May Martin PICK THE and Patrick Grant, tonight they'll all be tackling three different garments in cotton, wool and silk.

It's meant to be a gentle start to the competition. But whatever are they doing to these poor contestants? For the second time in as many series, one of them is forced to dramatically pull out due to ill health.

This sewing lark is obviously a lot tougher than it looks.


WORRIES Val goes for an HIV test with Eric

FANCY THAT Harry faces a delicate problem

BIG BUDS Emily, right, and Doll

NEEDLED The contestants prepare for battle
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Publication:Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland)
Date:Feb 18, 2014
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