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Byline: ShariLow

APOLOGIES if the following snippet makes your toes curl. Former TOWIE star Kirk Norcross has been caught on film - naked and performing a sex act during a Skype conversation with a "friend".

Some have commented that reality stars are so used to living their lives on screen that they've lost sight of the boundaries.

After much in-depth thought and consideration, we've come up with a foolproof benchmark to be considered before future performances. Dear Kirk, when you are next in front of a camera, it's time to rethink your performance if a hasty snap of a clapperboard could cause injuries requiring medical attention.

PUT the tote down and back away slowly. A study has shown that women's handbags are contaminated with more bacteria than the average toilet, with some carrying enough germs to be harmful to health.

Just nipping out to put up the bunting now that we can officially say that buying a new bag isn't just an indulgence, it's an exercise in self-preservation.

RANDOM Irritations, No5439 - a celebrity magazine has recruited the abhorrent Paul Burrell as an expert on the subject of Wills and Kate's impending new arrival. Eurgh.

Still, at least it provides inspiration on what to buy the baby who has everything - insect repellant and a guide to the removal of insidious pests.


NAKED J Kirk Norcross

ROYALS J Paul Burrell
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Title Annotation:News; Opinion, Columns
Publication:Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland)
Date:May 16, 2013
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