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"We had all the neighbors going `baaa' in the woods last night."

Police Chief Barry Kramer of Center Township, Pennsylvania, on the dragnet he cast to capture a goat that had escaped from a farm two weeks earlier. The ruse worked. The goat grazed at Kramer's home until its owner was located.

"I have not added interest, as I am hoping this is an oversight on your part."

A line from an invoice that David Williamson of San Antonio, Texas, sent several times to a federal court clerk, seeking payment for jury service. Williamson said the jury summons--which advised him that, if selected, he would sit on a panel for a month--is "a contract for his professional services." He has billed the court $16,800 for 100 hours of service. Judge Fred Biert said that Williamson served for just a day and is entitled to only $40. Biert said he would charge Williamson with contempt if he resubmits the invoice.

"I suggest [the author] consult a physician; it seems she may have a serious, possibly terminal, case of adjective poisoning."

Leonard Garment of Washington, D.C., former counsel to President Richard Nixon, in a letter to the editor of Legal Times. Garment objected to an article that described Nixon as a "racist, sexist, paranoid felon" who made "sweeping, wildly important, and globally altering decisions."

It was "just like I hooked a fish. He took the bait and ran with it."

A Wichita, Kansas, man, identified only as Brian, who used fishing line to snare a Peeping Tom. Brian's wife noticed that someone kept moving a lawn chair from its usual spot to a post under their bathroom window, so Brian tied fishing line to one of the chair's legs. He ran the line into the house and placed the spool on the kitchen counter. When the spool began unraveling one night, Brian darted outside to find a neighbor moving the chair toward the window. Police reeled him in.
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Date:Jan 1, 2003
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