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Quick, put up the county's full signs.

NORTHERNERS are, by and large, happier with where they live than those poor folk down south.

Harrogate came out top of a poll by Rightmove as the happiest place in Britain. People there are rolling in the streets with bonhommie. Nine out of 10 of the unhappiest places were in Greater London.

No surprise there, then. I've been proclaiming the benefits of living in the north - and in particular Yorkshire - for decades. In fact, I have, before now, urged we declare unilateral independence. We have industry, a coastline, some of the great minds of our generation, friendly people and beautiful countryside.

I thought independence would be particularly appropriate years ago when Kirklees declared itself a nuclear free zone. Here we were, in the middle of the country, safe from Soviet nuclear attack because of the foresight of our elected councillors and the road signs on our borders that declared our non nuclear aggression to the world.

We should have seized the opportunity and become a sovereign nation with Sir Geoffrey Boycott at our head and made ourselves a tax haven and duty free tourist centre.

Just think of the benefits? We would not have had to bow the knee to an establishment in London (unhappiest place in the country, don't forget), and be governed first by a bevvy of Scots and now by a club of Old Etonians.

And you can forget about all this talk of stronger border controls. What we need up here are county controls to keep out the thousands of distraught southerners who will soon be clamouring to become citizens of God''s own countr y.

Quick. Put up the full signs south of Sheffield and close the Humber Bridge.

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STUNNING SIGHTS: Who wouldn't be happy here?
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Publication:Huddersfield Daily Examiner (Huddersfield, England)
Geographic Code:4EUUK
Date:Mar 29, 2013
Words:292
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