Put back in their places.
Byline: Kevin O'Sullivan
SERIES end for two of the most impressive programmes around... ITV2's awesomely awful The Only Way Is Essex and MTV's peerlessly pathetic The Valleys.
What will we do without them? You'd need a heart of stone not to be profoundly moved as TOWIE tool Ricky Ridiculous and crybaby Jessica Wrong discussed their rocky relationship. Ricky: "We shouldn't be disagreeing about things we agree on." Jessica: "I agree." Agreed. Dazzling dialogue!
Then fat Arg shaved his hair off because the producers told him to. And the entire cast ran lemming-like into a lake for the same stupid reason.
Meanwhile, after a grubby month of living sordidly, the simple Welsh souls who made such a sad spectacle of themselves said a tearful farewell to their beloved city of dreams, Cardiff.
So it's back to the sticks for this gullible gang of easily exploited fools. And back to the rural obscurity for which they were designed.
Following this revolting porn atrocity, roll on the stylish sophistication of Geordie Shore. Which returns on Tuesday.
Planet Structured Reality...
where the torture never stops.