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Poets' corner.

CANVASSUS PESTUS (or Cold Callers I Hate) OF ALL the low-life creatures which dwell on Earth Nothing annoys me more than the humanoids that canvass.

They are compelled by reasons that are very varied.

Commercial, religious and political - even extending to crass.

The display of a notice, or two, advising against canvassing Does, seemingly, provoke some of these creatures to act.

For instance -'No cold callers' did attract one Who, on being directed to it said, "I'm not a cold caller, that's a fact!" How illogical, how imbecilic when he was touting for work And I had never, ever set eyes on him in my life before!

A fairly new variant of this being is canvassus pestus australis.

This creature is naturally friendly & often utters greetings that bore.

"G'day mate!" is a common greeting to those who answer their knock To which I reply, in certain terms, "Be assured, I am not your mate!" Having stated my gripe to all who might peruse this my poem, Let me state, once more, in finality, "Cold callers I hate!!" Alan Newton, Laneside Drive, Hinckley.
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Title Annotation:Letters
Publication:Coventry Evening Telegraph (England)
Date:May 13, 2010
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