PRISON WEDDING IS AN INSIDE JOKE.
Byline: CAROLE MALONE
I sometimes think I'm living in an alternative universe, not least when I hear that Full Sutton prison in East Yorks is having Britain's first gay jail wedding in March.
The happy couple are two killers called Marc Goodwin (a man who led a gang that roamed Blackpool looking for homosexuals to beat up) and Mikhail Gallatinov who throttled a 28-year-old gay man.
I'm sorry to put the kibosh on their nuptials, but I don't think killers - gay or straight - should be allowed to marry in jail. Just as they're denied the vote, they should also be denied the other privileges law-abiding citizens have on the outside - like getting married. But no, these two have been able to conduct a passionate affair behind bars - their His And His cells no doubt furnished with presents from their John Lewis Gift List.
Two innocent people are dead but their killers get to live happily ever after.
I've no idea what possessed those five Brits to volunteer to go to Mars on a one-way ticket in 2024. But if Josie Cunningham hasn't already applied can I put her name forward? The woman could have been spawned by Martians so should feel right at home.