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Live greyhounds Sky Sports 3, 7.30pm WHY don't you settle down with a loved-one tonight and watch the Yorkshire St Leger? writes Steve Palmer.

If you haven't got a human loved-one at your disposal, then perhaps settle down with an animal loved-one of some sort (although not a greyhound because they would get jealous of the chance of glory that their brethren have been given and it would be awkward).

If you haven't got a human loved-one or an animal loved-one to settle down with, resist the temptation to settle down with a blow-up doll or some other sort of loved-one substitute (because that's just wrong).

My advice for those lacking a loved-one? Settle down with a giant Yorkshire pudding and watch the action from Doncaster with it in your lap. Drench it in gravy and lick it all over like a hungry dog. Make love to your Yorkshire. Pummel your pudding.
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Title Annotation:Sports
Publication:The Racing Post (London, England)
Date:Nov 17, 2009
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