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PICK OF THE DAY; Live speedway Sky Sports 2, 7.30pm.

Byline: James Milton

THERE'S an aquatic theme to this evening's Speedway Elite League action, writes James Milton.

The Lakeside team are set to speedway - that's the technical term, isn't it? - against Poole.

Post-event entertainment will be provided by Pink Floyd's Roger Waters and brash, taut-skinned comedienne Joan Rivers.

She might tell her old joke about Malibu Beach - a popular resort amongst Hollywood celebrities - "where you can lie on the sand and look at the stars or, if you're really lucky, vice versa."

I know what you're thinking - perhaps Billy Ocean and Wet Wet Wet will turn up to complete the line-up of water-based entertainers? - but let's not drain that comic reservoir completely dry.

On a serious note, were we really put on this planet to spend our Monday nights watching televised speedway from Essex? It's basically just organised skidding, isn't it?

I used to attend a pub quiz most Mondays but it became too surreal.

The question that pushed me over the brink was this one: "Until 1934, Waddington's Monopoly sets did not include the little markers - the dog, the top hat and the rest - so players would have to use items from their own households. True or false?"

My team reasoned that, deranged as the quizmaster undoubtedly was, he couldn't have made that up.

We were fuming when, grinning mischievously, he read out the answer. "It's false, guys, - it was actually until 1937!"

You simply cannot legislate for that kind of thing.
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Title Annotation:Sports
Publication:The Racing Post (London, England)
Date:Oct 6, 2008
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