Owen up to the truth, Mark.
I LOVE Take That - I've even been known to well-up during an emotional rendition of Back For Good.
And I pulled a muscle swinging my bits in a manner unbecoming of a woman of my age when they played Hampden last year.
But wee Mark's excuse that it was the bevvy that caused his 10 affairs? Of course it did, Marky. And I'm Lulu.
I could see that an over-indulgence of the falling-down juice could result in the odd onenight stand (and, no, I'm not condoning it) but a five-year-long relationship? Not a chance. And while we're on the subject, Ashley Cole has reportedly been blaming the demise of his marriage on his mother-in-law, his wife's work commitments and her friendship with the Black Eyed Peas singer Will.I.Am.
Er, Well.I.Never. It would be laughable if it wasn't so pathetic. When Cole's white baggy pants went wandering, it was down to his own decisions.
To blame anyone else is - like the organ that's calling Ashley's shots - decidedly below the belt.
LOW NOTE: Mark and wife Emma