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Our daughter is perfect.

Our Daughter is Perfect

I refuse to believe that my daughter is anything less than perfect. I do not believe God makes mistakes. I believe our daughter, Jacinta, is exactly the way He intended her to be, and everything God creates is perfect, or at least it starts out that way. I will not tolerate people who do not accept my daughter. People may think that I'm setting myself up for disappointment, but I'm stubborn.

We take one day at a time in our house and try not to worry about tomorrow. We can accept Jacinta's disabilities because of the way we look at life. We could take care of our daughter for the rest of our lives. She is ours and no one else's. Is it a rule that children have to leave home at a certain age? Where is it written that parents should only give so much time out of their lives for their children? Or any other person whom you love?

We deal with things realistically. Of course there is heartache. Heartache when Jacinta has grand mal seizures and there is nothing we can do to help her. But that pain comes from love, not "Oh my gosh, how long can I take this!" feelings for ourselves. There is no room for pity in our house; everyone is too busy. I'm not saying that we are saints either. We have our days when everyone is grouchy and complaining about whose turn it is to give Jacinta her medicine or feed her, but I've seen complaining in lots of other families--maybe not the same complaints--but complaints just the same.

Our family is normal, and I'm really tired of hearing about how hard our family's life must be. We go to the doctors more; we deal with life or death crisis sometimes; we have to fight for our daughter's educational rights, but that does not make us an abnormal family--it makes us a strong family.

Jacinta is cortically blind, has a malformed brain and complex seizure disorder and cannot walk or talk or feed herself. Many people may think, "What kind of future does this girl have?"

Well, I'll tell you. This girl can look forward to a life filled with an overflowing abundance of love and devotion from her mother, father, brother and relatives. And we can look forward to her bright, shining eyes and a person to hold and hug, who looks forward to this attention with eager anticipation. She is a person who can give love in the purest form without pretense, and isn't that what life is all about? LOVE?

We make sure Jacinta gets all the best therapy in the world. We want Jacinta to achieve all that she can as an individual, and she is making really nice progress. But whatever the outcome, we will accept it. She can now point to parts of her face when asked and can operate hand switches, and her therapists believe she can now understand 70 to 80 percent of conversations. These are incredible facts, considering that when she was born the doctors told us she would be a vegetable.

My bottom line is, I believe God never sends you more than you can handle and, by accepting this thought, we gain strength to live our lives. Where there is love, there is perfection, and our daughter is perfect.

PHOTO : Eva Skubel lives in East Haddam, Conn., with her husband, Michael, and two children, Jacinta, six, and Michael, Jr., five. The Skubels are the owners of Therapeutic Toys, Inc., and are expecting their third child in January.
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Title Annotation:handicapped child
Author:Skubel, Eva
Publication:The Exceptional Parent
Date:Jan 1, 1989
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