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JUST when you thought it was safe to come out from behind the sofa . . . Doctor Who writer Russell T Davies is penning a spin-off featuring Captain Jack, one of the main characters from the last series of the Timelord's adventures.

Described as "sexy and funny", the 13-part "paranoid thriller" will air on BBC3 next autumn.

Interestingly, the series will be called Torchwood, which is, of course, an anagram of Doctor Who.

We think this could set a precedent. How about, for example, doing a spin-off of EastEnders starring the Slaters?

There are sexy, funny and paranoid possibilities aplenty.

All we need is a good anagram title. Ah, yes - A Denser Set.

We even had a sponsor in mind, but FCUK turned us down

PRESENTING the first winner of our caption competition from the other day: step forward John Proctor of Coatbridge, for these two efforts: #Ha, three X's in a row again, Mr Bush. That's 30-nil to me. # Did you drop this note, Mr Bush? It says: "I need to go peepee, would this be possible?"

Still time to enter. More soon

POLICE in Suffolk are putting cardboard cut-outs of police officers in shops to deter shoplifters. They had tried cutting the shapes out of newspapers, but they fell victim to rustlers

JENNIFER ANISTON has admitted she would love to be a director. She revealed she had wanted to direct an episode of Friends, but the opportunity never came up, adding it's still one of her dreams to get behind the camera. We'd heard a rumour she had a project in mind for Brad Pitt. The Wayne Bobbit Story, we're told

A GERMAN company has just brought out this Angela Merkel doll to mark her elevation as the country's first female leader.

Interestingly, a similar product was planned for our own first female PM in 1979. But the makers of Chucky sued

THE Government yesterday urged us all to be on our guard against identity theft, as the number of ID fraud cases has rocketed almost seven-fold in the last six years. However, for anyone out there who has a spare identity - there's an A. McLeish of Govan who might soon be interested

WE were fascinated to read on Page 8 that a single day on Venus is equivalent to 243 Earth days. On a pro rata basis, that would allow for a 10-day lunch. John Prescott just put his name down for the first manned mission
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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland)
Date:Oct 18, 2005
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