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Off the Record.

Byline: BY PAT ROLLER

FASTEN your seatbelts, Big Brother 6 is going to be nasty.

The see-through walls are a neat idea, and will certainly make the inmates, sorry housemates, feel even more claustrophobic than normal.

We heard that one of the short-listed contestants, on hearing the rumour that the showers were going to be outside, started getting really anxious about toilet arrangements - to the extent of even thinking of sneaking in one of those camping chemical loos in a rucksack, hoping to hide it under the bed in case of, ahem, emergencies.

But his plan was abandoned when he was shown the final clause in the contract - people in glass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

The best entertainment, though, should come from observing the hapless 13th contestant, who producers say will have 'the unluckiest time of their lives'. The word is that all household tasks will have to be completed entirely in the nude - and the 13th contestant is in charge of the barbecue

CONGRATULATIONS to the Bhatia family on their happy event.

You've got to wonder, though,is mum or dad a geography teacher

IT'S difficult to imagine anything that will add a touch of class to chewing gum.

But Hermes, fashion accessory manufacturers to the ridiculously well-heeled, are trying their best.

Advertised alongside their Grace Kelly handbags - pounds 25,000, we kid you not - is their chewing gum holder, a snip at pounds 200 and the class way to carry your chudder.

In answer to a query we've had from one dog-owning celeb, sorry MsP.Hilton, but Louis Vuitton don't do a pooper-scooper

CLINICAL nutritionist Dr Steve Lamm says in a new book,The Hardness Factor:How To Achieve Your Best Health And Sexual Fitness, that thanks to their levels of potassium,vitamin B6, vitamin C and folic acid,bananas are nature's Viagra.Great news for Fyffers

DARREN DAY has come to a decision. The hatch is easier to park, true, but next time he's buying an estate

ANOTHER of those surveys that don't really stand up to much scrutiny - a study by cruise company Ocean Village shows that Britons laugh three time less than we did in the Fifties. This, however, can largely be explained by the fact that Lenny Henry now has a primetime TV show

LOVED that Darth Vader haircut featured in the Record yesterday.

Commiserations, though, to the bloke in Glasgow we heard of who asked for a Star Wars haircut - 'Dinnae mind which, pal. Ah'm a big fan. Ah love them all' - only for the barber to shave him completely bald. When he complained, he was told it was the C3PO look. E-mail: offtherecord@dailyrecord.co.uk
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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland)
Date:May 26, 2005
Words:444
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