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OUR POLITICAL EDITOR JONATHAN WALKER ON THE BIG ISSUES Tough lesson for Alex to learn; 22 SUNDAY MERCURY SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 2014 Email fionnuala.bourke@trinitymirror.com OPINION Fionnuala Bourke.

T was meant to herald the dawn of a new age.

INot just for the Scots.

But the whole of Britain was supposed to be shook up as a result of the independence vote.

Yet I awoke on Friday morning to discover that the weather was still grey and overcast and the milk was out of date.

The new dawn was about as welcome as a gift from Bono.

Attempts by U2 to ram their music into the earholes of the whole world by plonking it in their iTunes account have been met with marginally less pleasure than being given a name check by Alex Salmond.

Still it was a relief to learn that common sense prevailed and the former SNP leader had not become a head of state.

Although Westminster ought to honour its pledge to devolve more powers to Scotland.

It's just a shame that the memory of Alex's old maths teacher got tarnished in the battle of the Braveheart that was never going to be won.

In a fit of rage John Ferguson's daughter, Fiona Scott, was forced to write to her local newspaper to ask the panda-like politician to stop invoking her late father's memory.

She said she had overheard him referring to her dad's teachings at meetings and noted that he held him in high regard.

Unfortunately for Alex the sentiment was not returned by Fiona who accused him of creating divisions across Scotland.

"Freedom of speech is under threat. Relationships between neighbours are now threatened if you indicate which way you are voting.

"For these reasons and many others, on behalf of my family I respectfully request that Mr Salmond never mentions my father in public again as, were he alive, he would be appalled at what is happening across our country."

Rubbing salt into the wounds she added that her "fair and compassionate" dad, who also taught Alex's brothers at Linlithgow Acaemy, always said: "Alex wasn't the politician in the Salmond family."

But the SNP leaders should have smelt a rat when he started basing his foreign policy on the sayings of his elderly neighbour, who advised him as a child should Scotland gain independence, "England will be like an old friend."

But maybe they didn't notice the whiffy advice because they were all checking out the latest fragrances from George Best.

I kid you not.

The Northern Irish footballer may have died nine years ago, but that hasn't stopped him from becoming the focus of a range of products due to be launched over the next 18 months under the George Best brand.

Celebrity beauty and fragrance promoters Jigsaw ESL revealed the first of them this week - two gift sets boasting the George Best Silver and George Best Gold scents, with accompanying hair and body washes. Christmas presents will be sorted then.

But isn't it a bit creepy wearing the cologne of a dead man? Well, may be not as creepy as the giant spiders invading our homes.

One family fear they may be forced to move out of their home due to the monster Hobo spiders with five inch hairy legs that attack instead of running away.

Sounds like the brave new dawn got even scarier.

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Alex Salmond resigned as first minister after |Scotland rejected independence

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Publication:Sunday Mercury (Birmingham, England)
Geographic Code:4EUUK
Date:Sep 21, 2014
Words:547
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