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OSCAR'S SEVEN DEADLY SINS.

WE ADORE OUR GLAMOROUS GODDESSES, AND SO--IN HIS WAY--DOES THAT TART-TONGUED

LIST TAKES AIM AT THE BIGGEST DRESS-UP BALL OF THEM ALL

DESIGNERS ARE IN A TIZZY. The trade papers are stuffed with "For Your Consideration" ads. Diamonds are being de-vaulted. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's that time of the year again--the looming presence of Oscar is in the Hollywood air.

And since the Academy Awards boasts the biggest fashion spectacle on the planet, let's take a klieg-lit look back on seven design disasters on Oscar night. Fashion sinners, one and all! From see-through '60s kitsch right up to '90s nightmares, it's a jaw-dropping drive down Fashion Flop Alley that's not for the faint of heart!

Like the old song says, "It's easy to remember, but so hard to forget...." After peeking at these Oscar-caliber fashion pitfalls, I'm sure you'll agree that unforgettable is putting it mildly. The envelope, please ...

1 CHER

In 1986 the undisputed Empress of Exhibition set a new standard of outrageous excess with a mutant Mohawk headdress, an avalanche of bugle heads, and not much else--she resembled a cross between a campy cockatoo and a reject from The Ziegfeld Follies. A real feather-raising sight! "As you can see," she said, "I did receive my Academy booklet on how to dress like a serious actress," Yeah, but did she read it?

2 DARYL HANNAH

The Jolly Gold Giant of Tinsel Town Strikes Again! Decked out in a Venus Does Vegas coiffure, obligatory sunglasses, and a gaudy Mermaid-Mishap-of-a-Gown, Hannah's a fashion-free fish out of wafer--she looks like an exaggerated version of Jayne Mansfield, if that's possible! Splash Fashion Trash, circa 1990, Needless to say, not a good year!

3 GEENA DAVIS

What a shock to see the traditionally Best-Dressed Davis turn up in this frilly and silly dilly-of-a-frock! Gorgeous Geena definitely missed the fashion mark by a wardrobe mile in this 1992 cartoonish creation co-designed with Bill Hargate and Ruth Meyers. She looks like a bawdy Big Bird--working the night shift in a cancan revue!

4 COURTNEY LOVE

Make no mistake: The fashion felony was alive in `95--witness, if you dare, Courtney Love's Oscar night Fright in White. Resembling a Gen-X Fashion Hex in this Carrie-meets-Baby Jane Prom Queen Scream, tiara-topped, satin-stuffed Love takes a petrifying wardrobe plunge. In this getup she's the Undisputed Muse of garbage-worthy Grunge!

5 DEMI MOORE

She reportedly designed this 1989 catastrophe herself--and it shows! Yes, Moore is Less in this ill-advised mishmash featuring lace-trimmed black running shorts, half a brocade skirt plummeting down the back, and a barely-there bodice. Part ritzy Roadrunner, part Renaissance wreck, Demi's the undisputed Diva of Design-Challenged Dreck!

6 BARBRA STREISAND

In these see-through pajamas worn in 1969 to accept her Best Actress Oscar for Funny Girl, Barbra should have stayed in bed! Her Scaasi-styled Tribute to Transparent Terror hit a legendary low note in Oscar's Symphony of Style--in balloon pants, sheer top, white collar, cuff, and a big black bow, Streisand looked like an X-rated Penguin on loan from a couture-crazy circus. All I can say is, "Hello, Folly!"

7 KIM BASINGER

Kim's a fatal fashion whim in one more No-No from 1990 that mistakes contrivance for creativity. In this bewildering "ball gown" replete with half a satin jacket, she's part misguided Majorette and part cut-rate Cinderella--a schizophrenic Tour de Farce! Unfortunately, Basinger designed this jokey, hokey fiasco herself. Fortunately, she stuck to acting!
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Article Details
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Publication:The Advocate (The national gay & lesbian newsmagazine)
Article Type:Brief Article
Geographic Code:1USA
Date:Mar 28, 2000
Words:567
Previous Article:THE REEL NEBRASKA.
Next Article:AMERICAN SUCCESS STORY.
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