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OFF the Record.


THERE are some so-called celebs you would just love to shake warmly by the throat A prime example is American R&B singer Omarion, formerly lead singer of the chart-topping band B2K.

He was in London on Thursday, but unlike so many, suffered no injury nor even any inconvenience - but he still wants people to pray for him.

The singer's publicist, ARPR Marketing, released the following statement on his behalf, which you'll note makes no mention of the victims of the carnage: 'Omarian was in London during the tragic bombings.

'He would like his fans to pray that he has a safe trip and a safe return home.He appreciates your support.'

Asked why we should pray for him, his spokesperson said: 'He wasn't hurt or anything, just the fact that he was there and that.'

Let's just pray he goes home.Quickly

FURTHER evidence that nothing is sacred these days:a statue of St Anthony of Padua has been stolen from the All Souls church in Peterborough.In fact, it's been missing for a week now.In case you didn't know,St Anthony of Padua is the patron saint of lost and stolen items

WHO said romance is dead? Law student Edin Smailovic got so bored during his exam this week at the Bijelo Polje University in Montenegro he stood up in the middle of it, went to the front of the class, got down on one knee and proposed to his girlfriend.

His intended, Edita Bikic, who was also sitting the economic law exam, said yes.

This is good news on two fronts. One, as we said earlier, it shows that romance is alive and well. And two, if one lawyer marries another lawyer, there's less chance of ordinary, decent families being infested with them

EXCLUSIVE: we have infiltrated a secret camp where they're brainwashing future Geri Halliwell fans

WE were interested to read that a club in Norwich was holding interviews for 'trample hostesses' who earnpounds 100a night walking over clients in a variety of costumes.Don't do it girls: Margaret Thatcher trampled all over us for more than a decade and got paid a damn sight more than that

JUST to cheer you up, we thought we'd mention that John Motson is 60 tomorrow. Just think, he might retire soon


AN old Italian Mafia Don is dying, and he calls his grandson to his bed. 'You lissin-a me,' he croaks.

'I wanna for you to taka my chrome-plated revolver so you will always remember me.' 'But grandpa,' says the young man, 'I really don't like guns. Howzabout you leava me your Rolex watch instead?'

'Shuddup and lissin. Somma day you gonna runna da business, you gonna hava bella wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple of bambinos.

'Somma day you gonna comma home and maybe you find you wife inna bed with another man. Whadda you gonna do then... pointa to you watch and a-say, 'Time's up
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Publication:Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland)
Date:Jul 9, 2005
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