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No class today!

During the first semester, I had a class with this guy and we talked all the time. But now we don't have a class together, and he's stopped talking to me. Even when I bump into him in the hall, he ignores me. Help!

BILL Maybe he has short-term memory loss. Or, he befriended you just so he could grab answers off your assignments. Or he's playing the "ignore her to see if she ignores me too" game. Like reverse psychology. Does it work? Look how much time you're spending thinking about him. Stop him in the hall and ask what's up. The direct method works.

DAVE I'm going with that ol' standby answer: It's not you--it's him. As long as you're giving him opportunities to chat, there's not much else you can do. Most likely, he has something going on in his life--a GF, buddies who kid him about girls, his voice changing--that's caused him to clam up. Keep being friendly, and eventually he might come around.

I was at a friend's co-ed b-day party. We were in her indoor pool and, when our gut friends joined us, she flashed them! Are guys interested in girls who show them stuff, or do they prefer modest people? I just couldn't believe that happened.

DAVE Is your buddy Janet Jackson? While her X-rated actions garnered short-term attention, it could haunt her for years. Don't think such over-the-top (or under-the-top?) stunts are a good idea. You never know when a moment will be a defining one that taints your reputation. When it comes to your rep, you don't get do-overs. When in doubt, err on the conservative side. I'd bet Janet would serve up the same advice.

BILL When you shop, do you notice the cheap stuff is in easy-access bins? The special stuff, like jewelry or electronics, is harder to get to. By flashing her wares, your BFF risks putting herself in the bargain bin. Sure, guys might show initial interest. But, in the long run, they want a relationship with a girl who's more discreet.

The guys at school are rude to me and my friend because we are not super skinny, They treat us like dirt, and it really hurts. How should I handle this?

BILL I could say how the guys should get sensitivity training but, fact is, your school sounds like a microcosm of our society. The media run ads for high-calorie goodies, often featuring near-skeleton models. My advice? Mental blinders. Blinders are the flaps they used to put on racehorses' eyes to keep them looking ahead so they don't freak out at distractions in their peripheral vision. You can't change these guys' attitudes, but you can take their power away by focusing on positive things. These losers might treat you and your friends like dirt now, but they'll end up eating your dust.

DAVE Right on--ignore them! The only reason for such hateful behavior is to get a reaction. Don't even give them that satisfaction. Once they figure out you're self-confident, it will suck the fun right out of their teasing.

Got a question? Send it to Bill and Dove, c/o Girls' Life, 4517 Harford Road, Baltimore, MD 21214, or e-mail it to Bill-Dave@girlslife.com.
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Title Annotation:Guys Q&A; adolescent boys answer readers' questions
Author:Dave
Publication:Girls' Life
Date:Dec 1, 2004
Words:541
Previous Article:Fact!
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