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Nick and Gail: Are they really related?; Soap watch.

Byline: Merle Brown

Coronation Street

NICK is back from Canada and looking lov-ely, even if I do say so myself. But how are we supposed to believe that Gail and Brian Tilsley are the natural parents of one so Adonis-like?

There must have been a mix-up at the hospital. Maybe her siblings are ugly ducklings who turn into swans? Someone ought to tell David.

So, what do they do with gorgeous Nick when they bring him back? Er, let him get mugged by a gang of girls at Richard's stag night. Why?

Anyway, Gail's got pre-wedding nerves. Oh, if only she knew the truth. Actually on second thoughts, best she doesn't -she'd have keeled over and died, if Richard hadn't got there first.

Richard isn't having a great time either, especially when the police arrive to quiz him about the disappearance of Patricia. Uh-oh. And Geena, the annoying cow, is making life very hard for Shelley, who has been promoted.

Norris has a nightmare on his first day at the Commonwealth Games, which inevitably involves Les Battersby. And Sally is being pressurised from all sides to give it another go with Kevin.

EastEnders

BATTEN down the hatches - take cover and stay inside. That's if you live in Edinburgh. Because Zoe and Anthony are on their way. What as? A side show at the Edinbugh Festival.

Talking of side shows, Sam decides to embark on a career as a glamour model, but she reckons a boob job will help her first. They're not bringing Daniella Westbrook back are they?

Elsewhere, Lisa has been at it with Phil and he wants more. Down potato-head. And Laura demands a night of passion from a reluctant Ian. Urgh.

Then there's all this Garry and Lynne nonsense. Will she stay with the four-times loser, or will she go to Dubai with handsome Jason? How does she do it? Mind you, would you want to be pursued by Garry?

Edinburgh probably need not declare itself a disaster area too quickly. Later in the week, Zoe receives a letter about Patrick she's not happy about. Cue her running off on her own for a while, perhaps?

Hollyoaks

THERE'S something about this teen soap that just gets to me. It's unmissable, especially on a Sunday morning with a hangover.

But, by God, it's stupid, infuriating and has storylines that would have you tearing your hair out in frustration. I mean, why on earth would Izzy go out with Tony? Yes, she's slightly irritating, but in the real world would a man like Tony honestly have a constant stream of girlfriends?

Anyway, he does, and this week he has to protect Izzy when Scott turns up on a night away. The menacing footballer that he is.

Just to add to Tony's gloom, OB creates havoc in his garden with his beer. And Beth, scared once more by Scott, falls deeper into depression.

Brookside

NO wonder Ricky Tomlinson can't watch this. Bobby Grant would be raising a union meeting about the state of Brookside.

The new-fangled camera work is a turn-off on its own. But what a mess they've made of good characters.

Ron Dixon is like a caricature, this week making use of his next door neighbour's electricity supply - and thinking he'll get away with it - for his new laundry business.

And Bev, once brilliant, is now a waste of space, no-good mother, who leaves child from hell Josh on his own. Don't even get me started on Jimmy.
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Copyright 2002 Gale, Cengage Learning. All rights reserved.

 
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Title Annotation:Television
Publication:Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland)
Date:Jul 20, 2002
Words:580
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