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Nerd alert.

I'm a really outgoing girl, but my BF is pretty dorky. My friends don't like him and won't let him sit with us at lunch. But I like him! He's a great guy. What should I do?

BILL I think it's cool that you call your BF "dorky," yet you still really like him. The world needs more outgoing girls who like dorky guys. One person's dork is another's creative genius. Tell your friends that your dorky BF is part of the package. Sounds like, with your personality, it won't be hard to find new pals.

DAVE It's great that you're an advocate of dorkiness. If it weren't for girls like you, Bill wouldn't have any dates. Keep your dorky BF if you enjoy his company. Let your friends know you'll be sitting with him at lunch and that, if they don't like him around, you won't be hanging with them. It's their problem, not yours.

DAVE People probably are looking to see who you're with this week! Stick with a guy a little longer, and they'll get used to seeing you two together. Give your crush a chance to prove himself. Maybe he'll be the one who gets to stay by your side.

BILL Britney, is that you? Wait, you're not a celeb? Then, can you say "paranoid"? Paranoia is when you're uncomfortable at a football game because you think the team in a huddle is talking about you. Most people are far too self-centered to worry about you and your crush. Maybe they look at you because you guys are cute together. That's a good thing.

DAVE It's completely understandable that you're a little jealous. Therefore, your BFF and BF should understand. If they are as great as you think they are, they will be very considerate of your feelings and do everything they can to make this triangle as comfortable as possible.

BILL Jealousy usually comes from a lack of self-confidence. Instead of being flattered that two really cool people, who obviously like each other, choose to make you their BF and BFF, you're finding fault with a great situation. Think about how much worse it would be if your BF and BFF hated each other. That might calm your fears.

BILL Since fitting in is such a big part of being a teen, having a disease can be really tough. It's great that you're trying to stay connected. Maybe he's worried that he might not be accepted, so he's bringing the rejection on himself. Just treat him the way you always have, and ask your friends to do the same.

DAVE Your friend's life has been turned upside down. While acknowledging the changes and giving him support are helpful, being consistent and just being his friend will go a long way in helping him out. When he wants to be alone, give him that space--but let him know you're there for him if he needs you.
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Title Annotation:Guys Q&A
Publication:Girls' Life
Date:Feb 1, 2005
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