NOTHING TO BE ABBEY ABOUT.
Byline: IAN HYLAND
A quick look at my notes from the worryingly pedestrian first episode of the final series of Downton Abbey: The opening fox hunting scene - obvious (and pitiful) attempt to whip up controversy on social media.
The dodgy Scouse blackmailer - obvious attempt to slur the fine people of Liverpool once more.
Anna being conveniently cleared of any involvement in Mr Green's death - obvious attempt to reverse a popular character out of a storyline dead end that was of the writer's own making.
Lord Grantham and his old school chums playing that game with the pig's head - oh no, hang on, that didn't happen (that'll teach me for watching Downton and looking at Twitter at the same time on a Sunday night).
The impossibly dull round table meeting over the future of the local hospital - obvious attempt to persuade me it was time for an early night.
Mrs Hughes and Mr Carson discussing their future sex life via a third party, Mrs Patmore - DEFINITE attempt to persuade me it was time for an early night. Although how they expected me to sleep with that image going through my mind...
NB. I should probably make it clear that when I said Mrs Patmore was a third party, I meant third party to the discussions. Not the sex life.
EARLY NIGHT Mrs Patmore