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My kids love their dad more than me; Dear Coleen.

Byline: Coleen Nolan

Dear Coleen,

I've always earned more than my husband. So when we had a family we decided I should go back to work and he should be a stay-at-home dad while doing some freelance photography.

It sounds awful but I'm really jealous of his great relationship with our two children. It tugs at my heart when they go to him for help when they are sick or have fallen over. I'm desperately worried my career is ruining my relationship with my family. What can I do?

Coleen says..

I know how you feel. In the early days of my relationship with Ray, I was the main breadwinner and he was a full time dad to our daughter. They had such a great bond, and do to this day.

I think all mums feel guilty about their situation. If they stay at home, they fret they're being cranky with their kids. If they go out to work, they worry they're not spending enough time with them. And if they work part-time, they feel torn between two roles. You just can't win sometimes.

But you sound like an amazing mother. Your kids aren't with a child minder or nanny - not that there's anything wrong with that - they're with their father.

You're working hard to give them a fantastic life, so please don't feel guilty. It's perfectly natural to feel jealous of your husband's close relationship with them.

What you need to do is spend some time alone with them at weekends. Take them out and do special mummy activities, such as swimming or shopping or going to the park. Give them lots of cuddles and, most importantly, stop beating yourself up. Remember, you are a great mother.
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Title Annotation:Features; Opinion, Column
Publication:The Mirror (London, England)
Date:Feb 1, 2012
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