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My ex-boyfriend has a new, younger girlfriend.


Dear Coleen TWO months ago, my boyfriend of seven years and I broke up when I discovered he was cheating on me.

After confronting him, he said he had treated me the way he had because he no longer loved me and couldn't see a future for us.

I was devastated and couldn't believe the man I loved would treat me so cruelly and had become a person I didn't even recognise.

I didn't think he was even capable of acting the way he did and it shook me to the core.

However, after spending some time alone trying to feel better about the situation, I found out from our joint friends that he was seeing a girl who is younger than us and he'd even taken her out and introduced her to everyone.

I've been struggling to come to terms with the fact he has moved on from our relationship so quickly.

Even though I know I don't want him and he is no good for me, I can't help feeling so hurt by all he has done. I'm struggling to move forward. Thinking about him with someone else seems to be consuming me.

I just can't accept how he can move forward and be happy again so quickly and I don't want to be this person.

Coleen says YOU are moving forward too, every day. In fact, you've moved on massively from where you started. You've already realised he's not the one for you and not the person you thought he was and you were doing fine on your own.

This is just a setback which I know must feel like a kick in the guts.

My advice is, instead of seeing him with this girl in a romantic way, think: "Poor thing, she'll probably go through what I've just been through when he bumps into someone else." Of course it's going to take some time to get over him properly.

about her is You were together for seven years and you'll have good days and terrible days when something will remind you of him and you'll feel like you're back to square one. But on those good days you'll remind yourself you had a lucky escape.

me Your shock that he could move on so fast is apparent in your letter. But - and I know this is difficult - don't take it too personally.

Women and men tend to behave differently after a break-up - we are emotionally driven whereas men are more physically driven (sorry to generalise, chaps). Often their way of handling it is not to handle it at all - they move right on to the next one.

Some of what you're feeling is just hurt pride - "How could he get over me so quickly and she's younger." It's a double whammy.

But use that anger and hurt pride to motivate yourself, rather than letting it eat you up and stop you moving on.

Thinking about him with her is consuming me

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Title Annotation:News; Opinion; Columns
Publication:Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland)
Date:Jan 4, 2016
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