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Must you make love on your wedding night?

IT has been a year of celebrity weddings. But at the end of the big day, how many couples have the energy to match DJs Zoe Ball and Fatboy Slim who went to bed for 10 hours after their reception? But does that matter? Is it important to have sex on your big day? BUSOLA ODULATE and OLIVIA BUXTON spoke to three blushing brides to find out...



FOR sexy newlywed Nicole Pellegri making love on her wedding night was the icing on the cake.

She couldn't wait to bed hot- blooded French hubby Didier and she believes it strengthened their marriage vows.

Nicole, a 28-year-old dancer, from Brighton, East Sussex, explains: "I'm sure some people will think I'm old-fashioned but I believe it's very important to consummate your marriage on your wedding night.

"It's a symbol of how much you mean to each other.

"There's no point in spending the rest of your life with someone if you can't be bothered to sleep together on that night of all nights.

"A bride should feel radiant after her big day and want her husband to desire her. I can't understand women who claim to be too tired.

"Besides Didier and I had such a voracious sexual appetite we couldn't resist!" The couple met in a wine bar in 1994 and Nicole claims it was love at first sight. Three days later they met again when Didier, a hairdresser, agreed to cut her hair.

"When he arrived at my flat I was wearing a white towelling robe," she recalls. "But as I sat down on the sofa, the top gaped open and Didier's eyes nearly popped out.

"I felt slightly embarrassed but naughty, and Didier pretended not to notice. After he'd cut my hair he began to massage my neck. It was very erotic."

The couple ended up naked on the sofa, and made love three times.

They became inseparable and, in August 1996, they tied the knot in a small village near Didier's home near Dijon, France.

"Even as we stood at the altar, I couldn't help thinking about snuggling up in bed with my new husband," says Nicole.

After a lavish three course meal at a marquee reception with 100 guests, Nicole and Didier, 31, started the dancing at 9pm - and it didn't stop until 5am.

"By then there was an incredible sexual tension between us," says Nicole. Unable to contain their passion, the pair crept away to the bridal suite above the village hall.

Nicole says: "The room was exquisitely prepared with rose petals strewn across lacy sheets, a bottle of ice cold champagne and a beautiful bouquet of flowers by the bed.

"As Didier carried me over the threshold and threw me onto the bed, he said jokingly, 'You know you're not my wife until we consummate our marriage'.

"Then he quickly pulled open the buttons on my fitted bodice and ran his hands over me, saying how lucky he was to have me as his wife.

"I melted in his arms and I couldn't wait to make love."

Nicole says the moment was more intense than ever and had extra significance because it was their first time as man and wife.

She says: "It felt like our two souls had become one - a final declaration of our true feelings." The couple made love three times then fell asleep in each other's arms.

But three hours later they were awake again as the wedding celebrations continued in French tradition.

Nicole says: "Over breakfast guests kept asking if we'd consummated our marriage - I couldn't imagine anyone mentioning it in England!"

Even now, Nicole reckons she and Didier are just as passionate.

And she believes making love on their wedding night was partly responsible.

" It confirmed our commitment and consolidated our relationship," she says.

"Swapping rings is one vital part of the wedding ceremony. Making love as man and wife is the other.

"Couples who choose not to make love on their wedding night are putting the trappings of the wedding - drinking and worrying about the reception - before their love.

"Marriage is about making time for each other and if you can't do that on your wedding night you've got no hope."



PRETTY Ann-Louise Gibben spent her wedding night with her new husband in a room with 10 friends.

They were so tired and tipsy after a boozy reception that sex was the last thing on their minds.

But they made up for it the following morning with a sizzling two-hour session.

Ann-Louise says: "It was the most wonderful sex we have ever had. I never planned not to have sex that night, and I am glad I didn't.

"Having sex on your wedding night sounds romantic in theory but the reality is very different. You can't have great sex after a very tiring, long day."

Now she believes every bride should give sex a miss on their wedding night and enjoy a passionate start to married life the next day instead.

"The first time you make love after getting married has to be very special," says Ann-Louise, a 23-year-old housewife. "It should be something that is cherished and memorable."

And it certainly was for her and her 25-year-old van driver husband Bryan.

They had crashed out on a sofa bed at the best man's house after celebrating at a club into the early hours of the morning.

"We had a cuddle but I was far too tired for sex and Bryan wasn't bothered either," says Ann-Louise, of Stockton-on-Tees, Cleveland. But next day it was dynamite.

"When we got back home the next day, Bryan had a shower first. Then I had one and joined him in the bedroom wearing a towel. When Bryan saw me, he gave me a big smile and had a naughty glint in his eye.

"He pulled me up close and whipped off my towel before we fell on to the bed and started kissing. We were touching each other all over and could not stop kissing each other's bodies. Our foreplay seemed to go on for hours. When we made love it felt like it was the first time. We were both so relaxed and happy and that showed in our love-making.

"There was something very meaningful about making love on the morning after the wedding because it was our first full day as man and wife.

"There's far too much pressure for people to have sex on their wedding night - you don't have to - and it nearly always ends up a big disappointment if you do.

"And if the sex isn't up to scratch, that could easily ruin your day or make you feel resentful towards your partner.

"I'd encourage any bride to save sex for the next morning - it's worth the wait."



BLONDE Cila Cameron's wedding night was a big flop - because all she really wanted was SLEEP.

She reluctantly went through the motions so as not to disappoint her new husband Ross, but she wishes they hadn't bothered.

Cila says: "The first time you have sex as a married couple should be memorable - unfortunately mine is memorable for all the wrong reasons.

"Making love isn't important on your wedding night. It's sleeping in the arms of your new husband that counts."

Cila, 27, had always harboured romantic dreams about what it would be like - but on the big day she was exhausted.

She says: "I had visions of making love all night. My husband, Ross and I usually have a wonderful sex life. We make love for hours.

"But on our wedding night, we couldn't even manage half an hour."

It was all so different the night sound engineer Ross, 26, proposed. Cila, of Finchley, North London, says: "We were eating dinner at home when Ross simply asked if I would like to get married. I agreed immediately and it was so romantic.

"We went hand-in-hand to bed. We started to kiss passionately and Ross unbuttoned my top. I started to undress him too and then he drew me close to him.

"He kissed my shoulders and we carried on undressing each other until we were rolling naked all over the bed. We made love non-stop for two hours - it was one of the sexiest nights we've ever had."

They spent their wedding night in the bridal suite of a plush hotel. Promotions girl Cila recalls: "It was decorated in luxurious red velvet and the bed was big enough for five people. It was perfect."

They got to bed in the early hours after the reception. "Ross started stroking my back and kissing my neck," says Cila. "I was exhausted but I thought the day wouldn't be complete if we didn't make love."

But in the morning Ross admitted he'd been just as tired and only made love not to disappoint Cila.

"A kiss and a cuddle would have been far more romantic," admits Cila in hindsight.

"There is too much pressure for wedding nights to be perfect.

"But it's impossible to have enough energy for fantastic sex after such a stressful day.

"After we made love I just had a sense of disappointment that it hadn't been as perfect as my dreams. It was a letdown after our wonderful day."

A NEW survey claims 33 per cent of couples do not have sex on their wedding night.

ONE in four couples described their wedding night sex as only "good".

JUST one in six newlyweds claimed they had a "great"wedding night in bed.
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Copyright 1999 Gale, Cengage Learning. All rights reserved.

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Title Annotation:Features
Author:Odulate, Busola; Buxton, Olivia
Publication:The People (London, England)
Date:Aug 29, 1999
Previous Article:Irish Man of the People:.

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