Miss! Miss! Miss! Hit! That's gotta hurt real bad!
The unidentified dude immediately started blazin' away with two handguns when Arturo stepped out of a local gym. He was probably doing the two-handed technique that works so well in the movies; you know, diving and leaping and cappin' off shots from both pistols at the same time. He found out that stuff might work in Hollywood productions, but it ain't very effective in real life. Despite his impressive display of trigger pulling and like really neat body action, he missed with all shots. Then Arturo "The Victim" got to take several shots of his own.
But not with a gun. Arturo "The Graduate" Rivera, a boxer with a 26-0 record and 16 knockouts, was well armed with his fists. His two-handed technique worked just fine! No one was counting the number of "shots" Arturo took, but the suspect was hospitalized with serious head injuries. He might be able to explain his motive as soon as his jaw works again. If it ever does.
Guns don't do stupid things: stupid people do stupid things, and they don't need guns to do 'em. When you take flak about how inherently dangerous guns are, just remind them that without stupid, careless people, guns wouldn't be any more dangerous than chocolate-chip cookies. In fact, per capita, fewer gun owners do stupid things with guns than car owners do with their 2-ton assault-mobiles. Here's are two cases in point.
According to investigators in Greenwood, Texas, three young men decided they wanted to find out how much fun it would be to run around with their clothing on fire. Hey, they'd seen it in the movies, and it looked really cool! So, they lit up their shirts and commenced to runnin' wind sprints. But, the flames quickly blew out. Not to be deterred by good sense and fear of death, two of 'em soaked the third guy's shirt in gasoline and tried it again. This time it worked, but the experience proved to be "no fun" and decidedly un-cool.
Then in Appleton, Wis., we have a Fickle Finger of Fate incident. A guy identified as Leland Laird was injured when a passing train clipped his wheelchair and launched him into flips. It seems Leland was the loser in a carversus-locomotive accident back in '89, and that's what put him in a wheelchair. Since then, he's been a regular beside the train tracks near his home, flippin' his middle finger at choo-choo crews. This time, he rolled a little too close, and the evening freight can't exactly stop on a dime or wiggle outta the way, you know? No, people don't need guns to get seriously stupid.
They might sell like hotcakes, but you gotta be careful about demonstrating their effectiveness, so you don't zap yourself. Designers at India's National Institute of Fashion Technology in Calcutta have developed a jacket for women to help protect them from muggers and molesters. The jacket is interwoven with battery-operated electrical connections, which the wearer can trigger if she's attacked, shocking the suspect--or boyfriend, or husband, whatever.
We don't know what the margin is, but the going retail price right now is about $20 for a plain cotton model! Watch out for 'em in crowded elevators.
Got a humorous tid-bit you'd like to share? Heard a good one from a friend or read a weird item? Share it with the rest of the shooting industry through "Back Blast." Send newspaper clippings, jot your story on the "Back Blast" form inserted in this magazine, or send your yarn in on a sheet of your company's letterhead. We'll send them by armed courier to Commander Gilmore. If he uses your submission, we'll send you a Shooting Industry "Back Blast & Other Hot Gases" T-shirt (Wow? Such a deal!). Please indicate your T-shirt size.
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|Title Annotation:||Back Blast & Other Hot Gases|
|Date:||Sep 1, 2004|
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