Mailbox and Just Ask; THE FIVER I JUST COULDN'T SPEND.
Yet in Scotland, no one would take a pounds 5 Bank of Ireland note. People didn't know we have Northern Irish notes and thought I was offering money from the Republic of Ireland!
Goodness knows how you will cope when tourists start arriving with Euros. - Mrs C. McGuire, Portrush, County Antrim.
Small change required.
HEALTH Secretary Frank Dobson announces that there has been a record fall in hospital waiting lists. At the same time, we are told that there is hardly a vacant intensive care bed left in Britain because of the flu, there's a drastic shortage of nurses and Scots doctors say the service is in crisis. Who do we believe? - J. Clark, Southwick Road, Dalbeattie.
THE engagement of Prince Edward and Sophie Rhys-Jones had you reaching for your pens. And not all of you were delighted!
PRINCESS DIANA found marrying into the Royal Family was Mission Impossible. But here's hoping that Sophie Rhys-Jones doesn't have cause to regret marrying Edward. At least after a five- year romance, she isn't being thrown in at the deep end and will have a better idea of what she has let herself in for. - Mrs D. Nicholson, Smith Drive, Campbeltown.
AFTER waiting almost as long to make an honest woman of Sophie as Popeye took to propose to Olive Oyl, Prince Edward can hardly be said to have swept his fiancee off her feet. At this rate, he'll be drawing his pension before we hear the patter of tiny feet. - Mrs L. Robertson, Malbourne Avenue, Clydebank.
WHY is the nation agog that Edward, product of a ludicrous and outdated system, is planning a wedding that we will ultimately pay for? - Tom Wilson, Crow Road, Glasgow.
Thanks to all who wrote.
OVER New Year, I discovered a wild new drink, which we dubbed the Ironing Board Cocktail - two and your legs fold under you, three and you're totally flat. - A. Paterson, Woodend Crescent, Aberdeen.
I'VE A BEEF
WHEN McDonald's offered two Big Macs for the price of one, they ran out in the rush. Maybe this is the way for other companies to beef up flagging business. How about two new cars for the price of one? - A. Mathieson, Nicolson Street, Greenock.
Two good to be true.
STEPS TO HEAVEN
AN elderly neighbour said his family had bought him a new step ladder because he was in danger of breaking his neck with the one he had. Then he added: "So I thought about you. You can have the old ladders." - C. Todd, Clydesdale.
The fall guy.
I SAW a TV show about the Lancaster bomber. I'm too young to remember them, but I was amazed at the courage of the guys who risked their lives over the skies of Germany in them. Real heroes! - Jim Franklin, Aberdeen.
And every one a volunteer.
REPORTS this week said wine can boost brain cells, helping repair damage caused by Parkinson's Disease. Yet it's not so long ago that they were telling us booze damaged the brain. I think I'll have a glass of plonk while I try to decide who to believe. - I. Jones, Airdrie.
A corking idea!
I CAN'T understand the fuss over Scots TV girl Gail Porter doing racy photo shoots for magazines. The kids who see her on the telly don't buy the mags. Sally James used to model garters on Tiswas and no one batted an eyelid then. Are we so po- faced now? - A. Wright, Kirkcaldy.
Gail's a snappy dresser.
WHAT a lovely, unselfish gesture by Irish superstars Boyzone to give up their New Year holiday to entertain survivors of the Omagh bombing outrage. All credit to Ronan Keating and the rest of the boys in the band. - M. Mullen, Maree Way, Blantyre.
THE only good thing about ex-Spice Girl Geri Halliwell being appointed as a goodwill ambassador by the UN was that it would give her the chance to travel - and stay away from these shores a lot. Now she's planning to relaunch her pop career! Oh, no! - M. Todd, Dundee.
Not Geri charitable.
IT doesn't surprise me that nobody has yet got near the jackpot on Chris Tarrant's Who Wants to be a Millionaire. The contestants' failure to answer the simplest questions is a joke. I doubt the programme will ever have to pay out the big prize. - D. Mays, Main Road, Elderslie.
IT has always been said that a woman's hair is her crowning glory. So I wonder why, despite all her wealth from her big-bucks TV shows, Carol Vorderman always looks as if she's walked out of a wind tunnel backwards? It just doesn't add up. - J. McIntyre, Findlay Grove, Edinburgh.
She'd like to crown you!
MANY women are sick of football, but Emlyn Hughes could convert me. His impish grin and love of the game are a revelation. And he gives honour to rivals. Today's players should take a lesson from him on how to be a gallant loser. - L. Campbell, School Walk, Aberdeen.
He's game for a laugh.
WE pay pounds 20 for the lead letter and pounds 5 for all others used. Letters must be original. Write to Sue Marshall, at Mailbox, Sunday Mail, Anderston Quay, Glasgow, G3 8DA. Fax me on: 0141-242 3587 or e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org
WHERE will New Year 2000 arrive first? - A. Farmer, Bridge of Weir.
IT depends if you mean an inhabited or uninhabited place. The first uninhabited place will be the Balleny Islands in Antarctica, where the sun will only dip below the horizon for one hour. Norris McWhirter, of Guinness Book of Records fame, says the first inhabited place will be Pitt Island, in the Chatham Islands group, 500 miles east of New Zealand. It's likely to spark an invasion of people prepared to pay big money to be first to see the dawn of a new era.
THE expression "round robin" interests me. - T. Logan, Ayr.
IT comes from the Royal Navy. If sailors had a grievance, they wrote a letter to the captain and their signatures appeared in the shape of a ship's wheel. That way nobody could be identified as more of a troublemaker than anyone else. The person whose name appeared at the 12 o'clock position acted as spokesman and he was called the ring leader.
WHEN did the Queen's head first appear on banknotes? - P. Ross, Lanark.
THE pounds 1 note issued in March, 1960, was the first to feature her.
MY husband often says something happened "before you could say Jack Robinson." How did the expression originate? - C. Hale, Glasgow.
FROM John Roosevelt Robinson, nicknamed Jackie, the black man who broke apartheid in baseball when he joined the Brooklyn Dodgers in 1947. It was said he could run from first to second base so fast that there wasn't time to say his name before he got there.
DO you have any nagging questions you would like answered? Or can you provide an answer to another reader's query? Write to: Just Ask, Sunday Mail, Anderston Quay, Glasgow G3 8DA
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|Publication:||Sunday Mail (Glasgow, Scotland)|
|Date:||Jan 10, 1999|
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