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Dear Coleen MY MIDDLE daughter has stopped me from seeing my granddaughter. I have seen her only a few times and she is nearly four.

I don't know where my daughter is living and the only contact I have is through Facebook.

The situation is very sad because my granddaughter has a whole family she has never met.

I have tried talking to my daughter, but she doesn't care.

I am in my late 50s and the stress is making me depressed.

I don't want my granddaughter growing up thinking I don't care.

Coleen says IT'S hard to give a comprehensive answer when I don't know the reason for your daughter cutting you off. But I'm guessing something happened between the two of you and she's now using her child as a weapon because she knows that not seeing her will hurt you.

It's really sad and silly because her daughter will grow up and want to know about you and why you're not in her life. And I'm sure she'll want to meet you, too.

That's what I'd try to explain to your daughter if I were speaking to her - but she's not the one writing in.

From your point of view, all you can do is keep sending the birthday and Christmas cards and gifts and try to keep lines of communication open between you and your daughter. Let her know that if she does want to rebuild your relationship, you will do it and you're willing to help with your granddaughter.

Sometimes apologising, even if you don't think you're wrong, can be the way forward.

If it helps to repair the rift and you get to see your granddaughter, who cares in the grand scheme of things? And if you do get to see her, make sure you don't badmouth her mum - rise above it and do your best to move on.

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Publication:Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland)
Date:Oct 7, 2015
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