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MICK DENNIS' COLUMN: Don't share Spurs' misery.

Byline: MICK DENNIS

CHEER up Arsenal fans. I know Chelsea are waving wads of roubles under the noses of your best players. But things could be worse. You could support Spurs.

Poor old Tottenham, skint as usual, are planning a pounds 15million share issue.

Those sad saps who already have Spurs shares will be offered the opportunity to buy the new ones. The prospectus should say something like this: "Tottenham Hotspur became a publicly quoted company in 1983. The shares were priced at pounds 1. They are now worth 23 pence each.

"The shares have consistently performed worse than the rest of the stock market and have plunged again over the last 12 months.

"If you bought pounds 100 of Spurs shares a year ago, they would be worth less than pounds 80 now.

"Meanwhile, the company continues to operate at a loss. We expect to lose about pounds 5m this year. The core business, football, is not going too well.

"We have ancient players we cannot unload and a manager who is a fruitcake.

"We have only won the league twice (once when this country had a king and the last time when there were trolley buses on the streets of London) and there is no prospect of it ever happening again.

"So give us some more of your money."

Don't all rush.

CAPTION(S):

HODDLE: 'Fruitcake' manager
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Article Details
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Title Annotation:Sport
Publication:The Mirror (London, England)
Date:Jul 17, 2003
Words:229
Previous Article:MICK DENNIS' COLUMN: It's not if . . it's Sven he will quit.
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