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MEANING OF LIFELESS.

Byline: Kevin O'sullivan

ANOTHER three-hour marathon as everyone dutifully pretended the Paralympics Closing Ceremony was an unmitigated triumph...

As opposed to a hideously long 16-song Coldplay concert co-starring gentleman rapper Jay Z and an uncharacteristically fully-clothed Rihanna.

"Scream if you're having a good time," roared singer Chris Martin. I screamed. But not for that reason.

Anyway, let's not pour too much scorn on the parade. It had its moments...

and it brought down the curtain on a sporting spectacular that inspired the world.

That said (wait for it)... Channel 4's nauseatingly earnest coverage made a dull night a whole lot duller.

While jaunty Jon Snow conducted empty interviews with shameless bandwagon riders Dave 'n' Boris, plucky anchorman Krishnan Guru-Murthy courageously took on the role of commentator-in-chief...

Seamlessly building on his sterling work at the opening ceremony, he was once again hopeless.

Solemnly regurgitating fact-sheet info like an even more verbose version of the BBC's Welsh windbag Huw Edwards.

As the formless "Festival Of The Flame" unfolded in riddles, Krishnan revealed: "The artistic director Kim Gavin has told us not to look for too much meaning in all of this."

That's how to close a fabulous event.

Meaninglessly.

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Dressed... Rihanna
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Title Annotation:Features; Opinion, Column
Publication:Sunday Mirror (London, England)
Date:Sep 16, 2012
Words:201
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