Left terrified - by feisty cook.
To witness Clarissa striding out to rural pursuits in her floppy woolly hat, a Barbour, tweed knickerbockers tucked into bright yellow socks that give her a passing likeness to an outsize Muscovy duck, is to be in the presence of a 2012 Boudicca.
Or so I thought. Now she tells us she "felt threatened" in Leicester by "Muslim men in national dress with burkawearing wives a yard behind them".
"They wouldn't talk to me I was a pariah, an outcast, in the city in the middle of my own country".
A few of the usual cry-baby Muslims have complained - but I suspect that Clarissa misread her problem.
The blokes she asked for help were terrified of her, not discriminatory.
Put gravel in a coffeegrinder, add a slug of brandy and switch on. You'll hear her voice and understand male Muslim fear.