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Q DESPITE my efforts to draw her out a bit, my daughter has always been very timid and reserved.

Now she's married to a man who's her exact opposite. Unfortunately, he's also a bad-tempered bully.

He orders her around like a skivvy and she panders to his every need and whim. I sometimes wonder whether he bullies her physically when no-one else is around.

I know she's a grown woman now and should be able to fend for herself. But she always used to be cheerful and she looks so tense and miserable these days.

Should I say something or keep quiet and wait for her to ask for help?

JULIA, Rubery A YOU'RE wise not to wade into your daughter's matrimonial affairs too hastily, Julia. Other people's relationships are often too complex and puzzling for outsiders to fathom.

Perhaps your daughter is prepared to tolerate what you consider an unendurable side of her husband's character in exchange for the strength and support he might offer her in other respects.

She might eventually conclude that he's her husband, not her master, but that must be her decision - not yours.

If you really believe she needs help, make it clear to her that you find his attitude difficult to justify and you're always there to listen and to offer advice and support.

Suggest that she might feel more comfortable talking to a disinterested third party like a Relate marriage guidance counsellor, who can be reached on 0121 643 1638.
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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:Sunday Mercury (Birmingham, England)
Date:Oct 27, 2002
Next Article:LIVING: ASK ANNA - Should I mention affair?

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