Keef's edge over water cremation.

Byline: BRIAN READE

A WEST Midlands council wants to dispose of the dead through water cremation where corpses are liquefied and flushed away by a machine called The Resomator.

The technique is gaining popularity in America, where one Florida funeral home calls it the most environmentally friendly way of getting rid of a corpse and says it gives the bereaved the freedom to "honour your loved one in a way that's right for you".

Maybe. But I've yet to see anything to better satisfy environmental or personal needs than Keith Richards chopping up his father Bert's ashes into a big line of coke and snorting him. The Keefomator takes some beating.