Ka-boom! Duck! Another case of big-bore mania.
Local officials said Francois fired the piece by stuffing a 2-pound stee projectile "the size of a baseball" down the barrel and lighting the fuse. Observers had kinda assumed there might be a smoky boom followed by the round tracing a lazy arc through the sky to a nearby field. Instead they got an earsplitting crash and a chorus of folks shouting "Where'd it go?"
The cannonball flew over half a mile and would have gained additional yardage but Harriet Stout's house sorta got in the way. The missile blasted into Harriet's bathroom where it smashed a mirror, broke a toothbrush holder and cracked the toilet tank before bouncing to stop under the sink.
Harriet wasn't using the bathroom at the time, thereby missing out on a really great story for the grandkids.
It Might De Better To Just Work On Your Swing
The guys at Brinker's Gun Repair in Tom's River, N.J., have received some pretty unusual requests over the years. Sooner or later, gun owners have asked for everything from autoloading revolvers to training wheels on a scatter-gun, but one recent call left them scratching their heads.
The caller first asked if Brinker's carried laser sights, and when he was assured they did, asked, "So, could you install one on my golf putter?" Brinker's expert-on-duty tried visualizing such an arrangement for a moment - hmmm, so mount it on the clubhead? But then when you swing... - and finally passed the buck to a local golfing supply.
Come on, Brinker's, this could be a whole new industry!
More Cellular Crime-Fighting News
In a lot of ways, cellular telephones have proved themselves to be great emergency tools and crime-busting marvels, but the California Highway Patrol found out they can help law enforcement in a way they hadn't thought of. When a driver with a cell-phone called in and reported a possible drunk-driving trucker, the CHiPs got right on it and pulled the semi over. After a thorough field sobriety test, they concluded the driver not only wasn't under the influence, but hadn't been drinking.
They advised their crime-fighting assistant of this, but he kept insisting the trucker was blasted, blotto, and besotted. Finally they agreed to meet him and discuss. They came. They met. And they arrested the cell-phoner for DUI.
Be Safe And Get Smart
One goofy spin-off of the revolution in concealed carry laws has been the number of businesses posting signs that firearms are prohibited on the premises. Hey, this makes sense: Forbid responsible armed citizens from carrying in your business. Then you're assured the only pistol-packers in front of the counter.
Flocks of gun owners are responding by not-so-quietly refusing to patronize those businesses.Now there are at least 17 places where you're not only welcome to carry concealed, but invited to by the district attorney!
Last year, the Salt Lake Library Board banned all firearms from the 17-branch system. Then Salt Lake County Attorney Doug Short stepped in and advised them to drop the ban, pointing out that the policy would be subject to legal attack from legally licensed concealed weapons carriers. Now the right to carry concealed throughout the library system has been affirmed, and Janalee Tobias is one of their most pleased customers.
Tobias, founder of Women Against Gun Control, thinks crooks "Will think twice now because someone in that library might be carrying a weapon."
Not Ladylike Enough
It's not unusual these days to find a lady of mature years browsing a handgun counter, so the clerk at a gun store in Naples, Fla., hardly took notice. At first it seemed as though she knew exactly what she was doing, but as time wore on, she became more and more exasperated, shooting glances from one shelf of pistols to another and muttering to herself. Finally, tight-lipped and tense, she turned to the clerk.
"Do you keep any good guns in stock?" she demanded. "These all look like those bad guns I keep seeing on television."
Uh... Well, next week we're getting in some hot pink jobs that shoot gum drops.
Not America's Dumbest, But...
We don't know what kinda belt this guy had in what kinda martial art, but our unidentified ninja wannabe decided to display his karate skill during a visit to the Tama Zoo in Tokyo. Bruce Not-Quite-Lee leaped the fence into the orangutan enclosure find picked a fight with Gypsy, the leader of the Pongo Pack.
Witnesses reported that Gypsy seemed unimpressed but increasingly irritated with Bruce's chops, punches and whirling kicks, and it seemed like Bruce was getting a little winded anyway when Gypsy finally stood, balled one hairy red hand into a fist, and introduced Bruce to an old boxing move called the "right cross." The unconscious man was hospitalized with a bad case of "blunt trauma to the head." Gypsy was reportedly amused with all the fuss.
Better Check The Inventory
If you carry Japanese-made hunting and folding utility knives, you might want to read the pamphlets in their boxes. The English Language Preservation Group has given a "Dunce Award" to a Japanese knife manufacturer whose products come with the warning, "Caution: Knife Extremely Sharp! Keep Out Of Children!" Good idea to keep them out of adults, too. Of course, these mistakes aren't limited to non-English speakers, Another Dunce Award went to Illinois Bell, who advertised a dramatic performance by Marycrest College as "The Little Shop of Whores." Hey, it sounds a lot like "horrors," doesn't it?
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|Date:||Jun 1, 1997|
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