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Johnny and the dudes: Kevin Torrey.


BEEN HAVING problems listening to too much Smiths, not being able to make it to the bar 'cause of your chick, or when you finally do make it out you're sipping on some Hefewiezen bullshit? Take a seat on the throne, crack open a brew, and read on as Bud Derinker kicks some knowledge on what it means to be a Dude.--Schmitty

First of all, break down the line up for us.

Blitz Package, drums, gas service. Bud Derinker, vocals, dump truck. Billy Sardell, guitar, Elco. The Donger, guitar, Dimebag Darryl tribute. Devayne Shrimps, bass, Mopar.

Who the fuck is Johnny?

Johnny is the dude that rolled into town in a primer Firebird and showed us some true dudicality, shit like dude pride, fierce dedication to the Q, 30-yard burnouts in the Trans Am--basic shit we were already doing--but he showed us how to really get the crew strong and doing shit dude proud. At the time there were a lot of fake dudes who were buying 100-dollar jeans, drinking microbrews, driving American steel they couldn't even wrench on themselves, couldn't man their own Qs, but still trying to pass themselves off as dudes. Fucking fake dudes got dropped quickly once the crew got strong, You know who you are. Anyway, Johnny lit out of here on a pretty crazy meth bender. We hear he's in Reno now.

What influences the Dudes' world?

Bud, ZZ Top, Cannibal Corpse, Q pride, American steel, jet skis, and an end to all of the bladers.

Skate Rock 13 is full of all DIY skate bands making noise for the hell of it. Same damn tradition, but is this one different than the other ones in the Dudes' opinion?

Yeah, the Dudes finally have their say. People don't realize the efforts that have gone into keeping the dude crew unheard. The skate world is afraid of what we have to say, actually telling the kids what's going on. There's going to be a lot of extreme changes when dudes finally hear our shit, and there's going to be a lot of fake dudes facing judgment day. Thrasher better not try and water down our message either. We know where your office is.

Do you know what Dude songs are to be presented on number 13?

"Dude Pride," "Q Crew," "In the Shit," "San Pablo Blow Job."

Can we expect you guys on the whole tour? The Ox has got to be due for a vacation. If not, what dates, for sure?

We're going to find Johnny in Reno and bring him out to the Sacto show. Fuckers better be out showing us some dude pride. Sac is thick with dudes. Our boys Ronnie and Kurtis rep tough. SoCal scene is weak with fake dudes abound; good thing Hitz and the Shed dudes are there to keep dude pride alive. I mean, tribal tats and black flies and lifted pickups--that ain't never seen a real load. We'll pass on the SoCal dates.

Can Ox's kid get into eggplants yet? I know the child is like two, but certain traits got to be showing by now.

"The Ox, the Ox, I was there when he backside bonelessed the gnarliest hip, the Ox, the Ox ..." We're going to set the record straight on this guy. Man, we threw the "hOaX" out of the band a while back; fully caught him red handed listening to some Morrissey and drinking a raspberry double hops microbrew. On top of that he's amateur hour on the grill, fucking bush league. He overdoes the tri-tip and lets the beers get warm. Don't believe the hype kids, the "hOaX" is just a media creation, and just how many times can you see the fucking guy do an alley-oop egg on some wall with no tranny? That's so fucking 2006. Just once we'd like to see him do something else. We probably got to use him for the show, though, 'cause our real drummer got locked up. The hOaX couldn't even man up for the trip to Japan with Shed. Enough about the fucking "hOaX," you want to know more, go to:

Last call; talk some shit.

This ain't some shit you choose to do, you're born into this. It ain't a fucking joke; it's how we live. We're just spreading dude pride, so fire up the Q, crack open a Bud, or step the fuck back. Fresno gots the heaviest dudes ever. A special Bud crack for the dude crew in Felem, Japan, holding it down on the Q. The skating, American steel, booze, and tunes. We felt like we were hanging at home, except those guys ate a lot more rice.
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Title Annotation:Skate Rock PROFILES
Author:Hitz, Sam
Date:Jun 1, 2008
Previous Article:Shed: Sam Hitz.
Next Article:3 inches of blood.

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