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Johnny Vaughan Column: Hold on while they throw a wobbler.

THE latest structure to suffer the Curse of the Millennium is Lord Foster's "Blade Of Light" bridge, which had to be closed within 48 hours of opening because a wobble threatened to throw people off in high winds.

All the parties involved with the construction tried to blame each other while insisting the bridge was always supposed to wobble - just not that much.

Workmen tried to reduce the wobble by wedging a plank under the bridge which, considering the construction had been billed as an "audacious hi-tech wonder of London", struck me as a pretty low-tech solution. Why didn't they go the whole hog and try the traditional British remedy - one enormous beer mat folded in half?

Anyway, I'd like to keep the bridge just as it is - in fact, the wobblier the better as it would provide an excellent means of generating the Lottery numbers on a windy Saturday night.

Once the 49 architects, with the numbers 1-49 on their Armani jackets, had been assembled at one end, the nation would be on the edge of their sofas waiting for the command "Release the architects", ready to check off the the first six - plus bonus architect - to plunge into the Thames.
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Title Annotation:Features
Author:Vaughan, Johnny
Publication:Sunday Mirror (London, England)
Date:Jun 18, 2000
Words:202
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