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Johnny Vaughan's column: Rare creature to kill...just send for Phil.

WITH a second reported sighting of a wild tiger on the loose in the Doncaster area you would have thought that Prince Philip, as the country's foremost expert in the slaughter of wild animals, would have jumped at the opportunity of doing something for Queen and country.

However, for reasons known only to him, he remains holed up in a palace whilst the local constabulary try to keep a lid on the simmering panic that must surely be spreading like wildfire.

This is plainly an absurd situation. Police officers are trained to drive around towns at 1mph less than the speed limit making road-users edgy, NOT stalking orange and black man-eaters.

Only when the country's most celebrated royal big game hunter is spotted on the horizon, armed to the teeth on the back of an elephant, will the good citizens of Doncaster be able to sleep easy in their beds.

Come on sir, do your bit and do it soon. Otherwise you might find you've got more than the blood of wild animals on your hands.
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Copyright 1999 Gale, Cengage Learning. All rights reserved.

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Title Annotation:Features
Author:Vaughan, Johnny
Publication:Sunday Mirror (London, England)
Date:Jun 27, 1999
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