Printer Friendly

Joe Dowd: The one that got away might come back.

Byline: Joe Dowd

In news that is certain to thrill Long Island tourism advocates, Cabot, the 500-pound man-eating great white shark, has apparently left Long Island Sound.

That was a close one: We can now enjoy our Memorial Day weekend knowing Cabot and his hungry friends will return whenever they choose.

Cabot is among 40 sharks being monitored by a research group named Ocearch that somehow managed to place a tracking device on the sea monster.

I know I'm not supposed to call Cabot a "man-eater" or a "sea monster" because shark lives matter. But I came of age in the "Jaws" era where, in a darkened movie theater, my girlfriend drove her nails into my arm at the sight of a severed head bobbing in the water.

According to Hollywood, one of Cabot's relatives was responsible for the carnage. People just lost their minds over this movie and it left a mark on my generation, as well as my arm.

Now, if you haven't seen "Jaws," stop what you're doing and watch it. You will come away with a better understanding of your neurotic baby boomer parents as well as their generation's solutions to environmental problems. Without spoiling the plot, it involves a cop, a rifle and some well-placed oxygen tanks. Our motto: Just blow it all to hell and we'll be OK. It's boomer science 101.

Believe us when we say: "You're gonna need a bigger boat."

The researchers say Cabot has been on a 4,000-mile journey from Nova Scotia to the Gulf of Mexico and back along the Atlantic Coast. When Ocearch tweeted that Cabot was having a meal off Greenwich, Conn., the media's feeding frenzy began. The lead researcher told CBS News that the presence of an "apex predator" like Cabot means Long Island Sound is cleaner and filled with lots of sea life in the area.

"Apex predator:" A politically correct term for "sea monster." Where are Chief Brody and Capt. Quint when you need them?

The great white left the sound Monday, skipped around the twin forks and was tracked somewhere southwest of Montauk. Somehow, that doesn't give me the confidence to head to Jones Beach this weekend.

As Cabot rules the waves, we on land face a transportation crisis. Thousands of New Yorkers will attempt to flee the region this weekend. While some of us try to get out of town, chaos rides the roads and crowds cram the skies.

Yet it's good to know that Cabot, the man-eating shark, roams as free as Bodexpress without a jockey. And when Cabot gets hungry for Long Island Sound bluefish, the researchers will alert us.

Joe Dowd is editor and associate publisher of LIBN. His column appears here weekly.

Copyright {c} 2019 BridgeTower Media. All Rights Reserved.

COPYRIGHT 2019 BridgeTower Media Holding Company, LLC
No portion of this article can be reproduced without the express written permission from the copyright holder.
Copyright 2019 Gale, Cengage Learning. All rights reserved.

Article Details
Printer friendly Cite/link Email Feedback
Publication:Long Island Business News
Date:May 23, 2019
Words:463
Previous Article:Bank CEO pleads not guilty in bid to get Trump post.
Next Article:Priciest home sales in Port Washington.

Terms of use | Privacy policy | Copyright © 2019 Farlex, Inc. | Feedback | For webmasters