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Joan's Geneva junk!

Byline: Denis Kilcommons ,

Joan of Geneva was initiated into Lunar Magic at an early age. Since being 18, she has enjoyed great powers of clairvoyance. She says.

Which seems odd, as she didn't foresee the reaction she would get when she sent one of her scam letters to J A Dearnley of Linthwaite asking him for pounds 15 to grant him two wishes and for magic gifts, an occult report and a "free energised pounds 100,000 winning ticket".

Granting two extra wishes will cost pounds 2 each.

Which sounds nice.

Except that it's all rubbish.

Or, as Mr Dearnley puts it, "balderdash".

He sent the letter to me as an example of the junk mail that drops through too many people's letterboxes these days.

Joan lives in Switzerland which is famous for cuckoo clocks and money. She has obviously combined the two traits by hoping people will be cuckoo enough to believe her and send money.

She says a beneficial period is about to start in the life of Mr Dearnley and she wants him to benefit.

"I know you are a highly energetic person, full of dynamism and willpower," she says, and includes a list of wishes waiting to be ticked for instant gratification: develop powerful muscles, win the Lottery, obtain a divorce.

Mr Dearnley is an 84-year-old widower with all his chairs at home.

Wish number 32 is: Stop being overly impressed by people, no matter who they are.

Alongside it, he wrote: "You what? I'm a Yorkshireman."

And he is distinctly unimpressed by Joan of Geneva and her dubious promises.

As ever with such junk mail, the advice remains the same: junk it.
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Title Annotation:Features
Publication:Huddersfield Daily Examiner (Huddersfield, England)
Date:Jun 20, 2005
Words:277
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