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JUST JOAN; I went to bed with daughter's hubby.

Byline: JOAN BURNIE

Q WHEN I married 30 years ago, I was a virgin. My husband was fairly experienced, but I was brought up to believe sex outside marriage was wrong.

It didn't bother me for a long time and we had - and still have - a good love life. I did occasionally get curious about what sex would be like with someone else, especially as I watched my own two daughters have relationships with a whole variety of boys.

However, I never considered having an affair and they both eventually married and settled down. A couple of weeks ago, I was baby sitting for my elder girl when her husband got home first and we shared a bottle of wine.

It loosened my tongue and I told him I had ever only slept with one man in my life. He said he was amazed that an attractive woman like me hadn't had any offers and suddenly I found myself in bed with him.

I am now full of guilt. He keeps sending text messages asking me when we're going to do it again. I feel so ashamed. The sex wasn't any good either.

A I'M glad one of you has the decency to feel shame. There's no excuse for your behaviour and how you could do that to your own daughter beats me. You were also supposed to be looking after your grandkids - so where were they when you were sleeping with their father?

And what would you have done if they had found you?

Anyway, the one thing you must do is to make sure this sordid little secret never gets out. But first you confront your sleazy son-in-law. You tell him to stop pestering you, as well as letting him know how deeply you regret what the pair of you did.

Leave him in no doubt that what the pair of you did was wrong and won't ever be repeated.

QI HAD a brief fling when I was abroad and ended up pregnant. I contacted the guy, who said it was nothing to do with him and I was a whore.

I still had my son, who is now two and the light of my life. Out of the blue, I got a letter from his father apologising.

He said he was engaged at the time we had our affair and that if he had called off the wedding, his fiancee's family would have killed him.

But she went off with another man and he is now free. He wants to come to Scotland and marry me. He says he will be able to get a job easily because he is a trained waiter.

My head is in a spin. I want my son to have a father and I really did have feelings for this guy, but my mum says he's using me to get into this country.

AI'D listen to your mother. So don't commit yourself to anything. Let him go through the proper legal processes involved in settling here, but don't you have anything to do with it.

At the same time, if he really wants to get to know his son, he should start supporting him financially and gradually the pair of you could start to get to know each other.

Your child can still have a father without you getting landed with a marriage of convenience.

Swindled out of house cash

QMY dad died and left his house and his savings to me and my sister. We put the house up for sale, then my sister decided she wanted it for herself.

She said she'd give me half of the highest bid, to which I agreed. But it was months ago and I haven't seen any of the money. She and her husband have just come back from their second foreign holiday, so they aren't short.

I don't have anything in writing but, at the same time, I don't want a family row. She tells everyone she has bought the house - but doesn't say she got it without paying.

AIT doesn't sound as if you've actually sat your sister down and asked for the money, so isn't it time you did? After all, you are entitled to your share, so the sensible thing is to find out when you're going to get it. Maybe your sister is raising the cash, but if she isn't, either consult a solicitor to get your share or forget about the money.

Afraid she'll see orgy pictures

QWHILE my girlfriend was away, I was invited to an orgy by a woman in my office.

I thought she was just joking, but it was like being in a porno movie.

I was disgusted, but I didn't like to say too much because she is very popular and I didn't want her thinking I am a prude.

But, unfortunately, she took photographs and although I wasn't joining in the worst stuff, it doesn't look like that in the pictures.

Our office party is coming up and I'm terrified someone will show my girlfriend the photos.

AI CAN just about understand why you might have gone to this party without realising the full implications. What I can't quite grasp is why, if you were that shocked, you didn't just immediately leave - far less hang around for these incriminating photos to be taken.

I doubt this girl will be showing them to anyone, but if she does, no doubt your colleagues will accept your version of events. Maybe.

I want DNA test for grandchild

QAT 16, my son insisted on marrying his 23-year-old girlfriend. She threw him out 10 days later and is filing for a divorce. But now she's had a baby, which we are all sure must be my son's.

She swears it is her new boyfriend's and his name is on the birth certificate. Can we force her to get the baby a DNA test? My son says to leave it, but I can't.

AIF your son and his former wife can't come to a civilised agreement on testing, it's going to be almost impossible to prove who fathered the baby, especially as her current boyfriend is named on the certificate and your son doesn't seem too bothered. You should consult a lawyer and ask for advice, but while the child's mother refused to consider testing, there's not too much you can do.
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Title Annotation:Problem Page
Publication:Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland)
Date:Dec 6, 2000
Words:1064
Previous Article:VOICE OF SCOTLAND; Kids need more help, not excuses.
Next Article:PICK OF THE BOX; A carry on with Harriott.


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