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JUST BRENDA: My baby mama doesn't provide for our son.

Hello Brenda, I'm in a dysfunctional relationship and would like your advice. I have a three-year-old son with my girlfriend.

The problem is she is not bothered by finances and this pisses me. For the last three years, she has contributed less than Sh20,000 to the boy's upkeep.

I have to hustle day and night to an extent that I don't have any savings and I'm in debt. All she is interested in is social media.

I had set up a business for her but she mismanaged and it crumbled. I have given her dozens of ideas and opportunities but she just isn't interested in.

I have considered cutting her and the child off completely but I know the child will suffer. Please help me.

You both decided to have and keep that baby, and so you should definitely both be raising your child, at a larger expense than the 20,000 that she has provided. Perhaps start contributing directly to the child, if you're not already that is.

Pay for the kid's school, shoes, clothes etc. directly as opposed to giving her money to do so, so that she is put in a situation where she doesn't directly have access to funds.

However, if she is the primary caregiver for your child, with no help or a house help or an ayah, then she's probably contributing more to raising your child than you are. Money isn't everything, after all, and being the primary nurture is an expense you can put a price tag on.

Express your discomfort and hear why she is unwilling to work - then work around that. Do you have a problem to share with Just Brenda? Send your questions to [emailprotected]

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Publication:Daily Nation, Kenya (Nairobi, Kenya)
Date:May 28, 2019
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