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It's no joke, get your coat and cab.

Byline: Paddy Shennan

ONE down, one to go.

While Ben "I got a scholarship to Sandhurst, don't you know? - AND I speak down my nose in a really irritating way" Clarke survived to annoy another day, Philip (an estate agent - how fitting!) Taylor was unceremoniously booted out of the boardroom.

And, proving he was the Didier Drogba of this latest batch of woeful wannabes, the dour Durham disappointment didn't go gracefully (The Apprentice, BBC1/The Apprentice: You're Fired, BBC2, both Wednesday).

Told he was being fired because of his overbearing bravado and attitude, he decided against the polite "Thanks for the opportunity, Sir Alan" and instead uttered a dismissive four-letter word .

... "Joke!" As the Sugar man said: "I think he showed his true colours in the end." To be honest, he showed them from weeks one to seven and his taxi ride to oblivion (hopefully that's where he'll be going) was long overdue.

But at least he made us laugh right up until the end: "Sir Alan is going to fire Lorraine - she blew it!" said the man who didn't sell a single thing on a two-day "selling" mission in Manchester and Liverpool.

"Business is the new rock 'n' roll and I'm Elvis Presley," is one of Philip's lines, but if that's the case, he's more Orville than Elvis (Pants Man wishes he could fly way up to the sky ... but he can't).

He also described himself as "confident and charming" - another example of someone charmlessly confusing confidence with arrogance.

You had to feel sorry for the good people at both Rapid

Hardware and Lewis's this week, as amateur hour came to town in the shape of the hopeless teams trying to flog them their wares.

"That was the worst pitch I've done in 20 years," said Lorraine, after asking Rapid to take several thousand (as opposed to just several) cardboard cat toys.

Philip, meanwhile, was too busy cosying up to Kate to pay much attention to the task - and the luvvie-duvvie pair were rightly pulled up by Nick Hewer after having the nerve to try and pin the blame on Lewis's for their inability to sell anything to the store (Kate: "They were selling Tshirts at pounds 1 each", Philip: "That's the sort of place it is.") Nick ("It's been there for 100 years. It's a fine store") wasn't having it . .

And Sir Alan, thankfully, wasn't having any more of Philip..

CAPTION(S):

HE'S FIRED - FINALLY: Philip Taylor, estate agent, big mouth and former apprentice, has left the building
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Publication:Liverpool Echo (Liverpool, England)
Date:May 9, 2009
Words:420
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