It's been fun, but my work is done - I'm out of here!
Well done, Freddie Starr - that's the way to do it (I'm A Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here! ITV1, all week).
And thank God he was around - albeit briefly - to liven up what has, over the years, become an increasingly humdrum piece of light entertainment.
Starr's moment (and it really was only a moment) arrived in Monday night's show when we saw him take part in the "Greasy Spoon" challenge.
For starters, he devoured a fermented egg. The TOWIE "star" Mark Wright (who?) didn't.
Then it was onto mice tails with cheese fruit - again, no problem for Freddie. Well, he was hungry.
"You're an animal!" shouted whatever his name is.
Then Freddie started doing a wonderful job of putting off Thingy - by just staring at him, mostly.
The scores were 2-1 and next up - yum, yum - was bush pig anus. Straight down another hole for Freddie.
"You're actually a lunatic!" said, er, you know - the young lad.
"It's only a pig's a**e," said Freddie.
"What does it taste of ?" asked Ant.
"Pig's a***!" said Freddie. And so onto camel toe, followed by turkey testicles drizzled in slime - and a 5-3 victory for The Starr.
"He didn't even heave!" complained The Other Bloke.
Freddie, in his post-banquet interview, said he knew he would emerge victorious: "No one who wears a bandana, has a fake tan and puts face cream on has got any chance."
Then it all went wrong - after suffering an allergic reaction (not necessarily to anything he ate, but possibly something else in the jungle), Freddie was off to hospital - and then out of the show.
As for the others, Antony Cotton had the first hissy fit - but fair play to him for overcoming it and jumping out of the helicopter - while Fatima Whitbread seems to be able to irritate her jungle "pals" without even trying.
And a couple of passers-by appear to have found their way onto the programme - as well as Mark Wright, someone called Dougie Poynter (who?) has been allowed to join in the fun and games.
Crissy Rock has been cackling for Liverpool and England, and can't understand why so many of her fellow celebs are moaning so much and making such a fuss.
Then there was Sinitta's quote, about herself and Pat Sharp: "He used to be the big DJ (in the '80s) and I used to be the big pop star."
WHAT A STARR: Freddie in his jungle gear
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|Publication:||Liverpool Echo (Liverpool, England)|
|Date:||Nov 19, 2011|
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