Is it wine o'clock yet? The trials and tribulations of getting through the day as a working mum.
Father Christmas this year will mostly be delivering me the gift of realisation that I am officially #old (also proven by my frequent incorrect usage of hashtags). My Santa list is horribly age-appropriate. Until recently, being gifted a pair of nanna slippers would have had me recoiling in sheer horror at the decision-making process of the giver. This year, first on the list is the stripy, furry pair from Gap I have been quietly coveting. Buying them for myself seems terribly extravagant (Tamara Ecclestone I am not) and thus my husband (equally obsessed with cosy toes) and myself have powered on through with those we have nicked from hotel rooms that are basically made of paper.
I am also partial to a practical gift. An acquaintance recently acknowledged the epic fail of buying their mum a George Foreman grill as a gift and, instead of agreeing with the horror of this error, I found myself thinking, 'Oooh, we haven't got one of those. Mmmm, lamb chops,' and contemplating putting it second in line below the slippers. And although I draw the line at adding them to the wish list, I am also partial to a condiment-based gift set. A nice chutney or ase marmalade goes down a Yuletide treat round my gaff these days, as do dried fruit items, which I used to balk at. I've even got a soft spot for my former food nemesis, marzipan, which I can only assume to be another Coming Of Age. Oh, and I appear to quite like a nice dry sherry. I'll be at the egg nog next. I might even go crazy and put hints out there for a hamper. Then I'll have a nice wicker picnic basket in which to keep all the wool and crochet needles and cross-stitch paraphernalia for the #old hobbies I shall presumably be taking up next Not that anyone will pay the slightest attention to my Santa list anyway. Himself and the Elf Massive will be far too busy doing a thorough edit on my children's lists, what with them currently being around the same length as the Encyclopedia Britannica. Maybe I'll go all out and treat myself to those slippers in the January sales. I know how to live.
Name: Lara Kilner Lives: A northerner in Brighton About me: Mum to a shouty six year old and a fast-moving three year old. Along with going to work and getting annoyed with my husband for leaving his pants on the floor, there isn't much time for anything else.
3 THINGS I AM NOT QUITE READY FOR ON THE #OLD GIFT LIST Talc. I'm not yet ready to smell of lily of the valley.
See also, bath cubes.
A bag of humbugs. Maybe by next year, though.
Socks. I j't think I could cope with all the excitement.
don't th w NB: Feel Lara's pain? Let her know on Twitter: @larajkilner