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Incognito Joe.

I recently started going out with a guy friend, but I think he is embarrassed about it. He refuses to tell anyone we're going out now. I don't know what to think. Help!

BILL Guys often run in packs, like dogs. Or Musketeers. So if one guy in the pack pairs off with a girl, no matter how great that girl is, it affects the dynamic of his pack. After all, your guy will be spending some time with you instead of his pals. Measure your guy's devotion in the time spent with you, not by what he says (or doesn't say). Besides, who wants to be the one to take the blame for reducing the Three Musketeers to Two?

DAVE Bill's right on about the pack-mentality of males, so look at the bright side. While you might view your BF's silence as a negative because it appears he's less-than-proud to be dating, it beats a kiss-and-tell braggart. If your boyfriend wants to keep the relationship between you and him, without any outside interference for now, let it be.

Two months ago, I met a guy I really like. We became good friends, and he is perfect ... except that he likes one of my close friends. He always talks about her to me, and I feel so uncomfortable and miserable. I don't want to ruin our friendship, but I really like him! What should I do?

BILL This guy's either clueless about your feelings or thinks getting to know you might help him get closer to your friend. If he's clueless, it's up to you if you want to let him know how you feel. After "the talk," if you find out he's using you to get to your friend, it's time for "the dump." I'm guessing you'd probably prefer a guy who makes you feel good instead of bad.

DAVE The fact that this guy is chatting up your girl friend so much doesn't need to be a friendship-buster. If he is so perfect, he'll completely understand when you casually remind him that you already know how great your buddy is--that's why you have her as a friend.

The guy I like has a girlfriend who goes to a different school. Everyone says he likes me, but I don't know whether or not it's true. Should I ask him out?

DAVE Whoa! Dave is nothing but open-minded and forward-thinking when it comes to girls asking out guys (I just wish it would happen to me more often!). But if there were ever a case when you should back off, this is it. He has a girlfriend! So what if she goes to a different school? If you cause a breakup, you'll end up looking less than stellar. If he loses the girlfriend, ask away.

BILL First off, how would you feel if you were the girlfriend? Would you want someone asking out your BF? Doubtful. What's the best way to get to know him better? Go for something low-key, like invite him out with your group and get to know him as a friend first. If he and the GF break up, all yours!

I've had a crush on this guy for months. We see each other almost every day and hold hands often. We have lunch, see movies and do practically everything together! I call him, and he's at my house in like a minute. So, the other day I asked him who his best friend is and he said I am. I was extremely flattered ... but also confused. I thought he liked me as a GF. What's up?

BILL Isn't man's best friend supposed to be a dog? But you don't hold hands with your pet so, obviously, this guy is serious about you. Maybe he's moved past the stage of shyly professing attraction to the much higher stage of professing affection. Consider it a compliment. Pat him on the head and say, "Good boy!"

DAVE It sounds as though you get to do all the cool BF/GF stuff, and your guy is there for you in a shake. So big deal if he's having a little difficulty defining things. Small price to pay for bliss. Besides, lots of guys consider their GFs to also be their BFFs. So there.

Got a question? Send it to Bill and Dave, c/o Girls' Life, 4517 Harford Road, Baltimore, MD 21214, or e-mail it to
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Title Annotation:Guys: Q&A by Bill and Dave
Publication:Girls' Life
Geographic Code:1USA
Date:Jun 1, 2004
Previous Article:A period piece.
Next Article:Roller coaster of love: the truth about breaking up and making up every five minutes.

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