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In left-out field: my friend is very popular with the boys, so I am bombarded with questions from guys about who she likes. She's nice and deserves it--but I feel left out.

It's great that guys appreciate your bud's fabulousness like you do. But it can be annoying to field questions about her romantic interests. It's natural to feel a bit jealous of all the attention she gets. Yes, she probably deserves it, but I'm sure you do, too. What you don't want is to let your feelings get in the way of your friendship. When guys come to you for the 411 on your friend, politely but clearly tell them that if they want her number or whatever, they should talk to her. You're her friend, not her publicist. Hopefully, the guys will get the message. Meanwhile, instead of envying your guy-magnet friend, get to know some of the guys she attracts.

My mom never listens to me and then wonders why I never talk to her about anything. If I do tell her about something that upsets me, like with friends or boys, she just tells me to get over it.

It sounds like your mom wants to be a part of your life, but you two are getting your signals crossed. Let her know that a relationship with her is important to you but that you two need to work on how you communicate. Don't assume she doesn't have an interest in your problems. Instead, tell her how it makes you feel when she responds that way. When she tells you to get over stuff, that's probably just her way of dealing. People have different ways of approaching problems--some choose to forget and move on, while others like to talk out issues. Let her know that you don't necessarily expect her to fix everything for you--you just want her to lend an ear.

I'm starting middle school--in the same building with the high-school kids. I'm afraid. I don't mean to be chicken, but I don't want older girls picking on me.

Starting a new school is scary, particularly when there are older kids involved. Just remember that your middle-school classmates are in the same boat. You are not alone, and you will have your friends behind you. Yeah, high-schoolers might have a few inches on you, but they're just kids who were in the same position as you a few years ago. The kindergartners and first-graders in your old school were probably scared of you, even though you didn't feel like you were scary. If anything, older kids can be intimidating because they know the ropes--it's not because they have a few more candles on the cake or that they plan to pick on younger kids. If older girls do harass you, talk to a guidance counselor--that's what she's there for.

Girls can be mean, so I prefer hanging with boys. Now, the girls hate me even more because they think I'm trying to steal their boyfriends. I'm so not interested. What do I do?

Lots of girls like hanging with guys because most boys don't care about what you're wearing or who called you last night. If you enjoy chilling with guys, then you should. The girls probably feel threatened by your ability to get along with boys. If a girl accuses you of stealing her BF, laugh if off and explain that you're friends. Enjoy your friendships, and don't dwell on other's hang-ups. Still, don't close yourself off from making female friends. Girls can be great for chatting about all those things that come along with being a girl. So strike up a convo with the new chick!

Got a question for Lucky? Send it to Ask Lucky, c/o Girls' Life, 4517 Harford Road, Baltimore, MD 21214, or e-mail it to questions@girlslife.com.
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Title Annotation:ASK LUCKY
Author:Sandler, Laura
Publication:Girls' Life
Article Type:Column
Geographic Code:1USA
Date:Aug 1, 2005
Words:608
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