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Byline: Horatio Hornblower

WHILE Spain were tip-tapping the ball about I was looking for something more exciting to start this piece with, and eureka, it happened in the first few minutes. Or so I thought!

A bloke ran on to the park and honestly, I could have sworn it was Wayne Rooney looking for a World Cup goal but the intruder turned out to be just another nutter.

It's been that sort of World Cup hasn't it, not a lot to salivate over. I mean, in the old days some bare-naked maiden would streak across our screens but nowadays we get some bloke in a Superman T-shirt blowing on a vuvzela.

At least we had Mark Lawrenson in the commentary box and is he not worth staying in for? There's a rhetorical question for you!

With not a lot happening on the park at the time, he decided to inform us that according to Paul the psychic octopus, Spain would beat Germany.

Apparently Paul lives in an aquarium in Oberhausen and when Germany are playing they throw in two mussels, one with a German flag and the other with the flag of the opposition.

Which ever mussel Paul eats first the team whose flag it was carrying wins. A hoot, eh!

Back to Lawrenson and prior to kick-off he was being interviewed on screen by the Beeb's Damien Johnston who asked him who would win and yer man said: "Spain."

Clearly he's mad about that octopus. Whatever, but he's better off behind a mic and out of sight, for let's face it, he aint no oil painting.


WRONG NOTE: Intruder
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Title Annotation:Sport
Publication:Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland)
Date:Jul 8, 2010
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